All The Boys - What's in a crush?

Let’s talk about crushes. Let’s talk about that silly feeling we all get when we’re 12 years old and we get that first glimpse of a boy, and suddenly there are butterflies in our belly and our hearts are beating just a little bit faster. AH, the crush. What a sweet, silly, innocent thing of childhood. Or is it?

What happens when you’re thirty-something, single, and just poking your toe into the dating pool after a long absence? And you get a glimpse of that guy across the room, the one who stands just so, or smiles with that twinkle in his eye, and suddenly, there are butterflies in your belly and your heart is beating just a little bit faster. Is it still a crush if by all accounts you can be considered a grown woman?

Isn’t it?

Personally, I like a crush. I enjoy the giddy feelings, the nervous anxiety, the sudden flush to my cheeks. I get a giggle out of the little girl in me coming out to say “I think I have a crush”. How silly, and enjoyable it is.

And as someone who has been in a bit of a rut with my self esteem the last few years, the fact that I am now considering myself crush worthy, allowing the butterflies to form, and wondering if maybe, just maybe, I’m causing some butterflies of my own…well, that’s kind of nice to experience.

The great thing about a crush though is that it doesn’t necessarily mean you are interested in acting upon it. The pressure is off a bit on a crush, because it might just be someone you want to observe from a distance, and never really pursue anything with. For whatever reason, you may know this person is all wrong for you, but you can still enjoy the feelings that the crush evokes in you. Safely. From a distance.

On the flip side, there are times when a crush can develop into more. You can take a crush and realize that the feeling is indeed mutual, and then suddenly, you’re no longer just crushing, you are now flirting. And how much fun is that?

But, of course, you’re thinking, “All this talk about crushes Karina, but we came here to read about who YOU are crushing on, so will you just get to it already?” Okay, okay…yes, I have a crush. In fact, I have two. And I’ve decided to share them with you because maybe that’ll force me to actually act out on at least one of them. Because at the moment, I’m lacking the nerve to make a move…so, maybe you can give me that little push I need.

I’ll tell you about my crushes first.

The first is totally innocent and not the one I see myself acting on. It’s clichéd and silly, and simply one that just makes me giggle, so I’m enjoying it from afar. I’ve got a crush on a personal trainer at my gym. I know, how obvious. But it’s not what you’re thinking, “oh, of course, a personal trainer, they’re all hot”. True. But this one, we’ll call him “Coach”, is not your typical personal trainer. He doesn’t have that “I’m so hot” air about him. He’s very down to earth and was obviously not the “jock” in high school, so he comes across as more approachable. He’s also extremely funny. So with that, is it any wonder I got a crush? He’s adorable, and a bit of a flirt as well, but he also happens to be about 10 years younger than me. So, I’m enjoying this crush for what it is, silly, fun, a distraction, but not something I’m likely to pursue.

Although…well, you know, I wouldn’t exactly turn him down if he were to ask me out for a drink. I’m just sayin’.

However, as my budget is about to take a major step in the “tightening of the belt” direction with my brand new car purchase which is in the works this week, there are no immediate plans for future personal training sessions, so Coach and I won’t have any more one on one time for a while. Thus, I’ll have to crush on him from afar for now.

The second crush, however, has potential. That is, if I don’t chicken out it does. This past weekend, as some of you know, I went window shopping for a car. The salesman I dealt with on Sunday, when I took the car for a test drive, was a hottie. Not just in the sense that he’s a good looking guy, which he is, but he had a certain flair about him that you don’t necessarily see too much of here in suburban New England. You all know I’m all about fashion, so when this man approached me not in your typical car salesman uniform of suit and tie, and sleazy wink...

but instead in dress pants, button down shirt and a black scarf and matching kangol type newsboy cap…(no, this is not him)...

I was immediately intrigued. Looking all dapper and very GQ”, even mom (who’d come with me to look at the car) was impressed. So GQ and I sat down to chat about the car, and mom and dad walked away to, as mom would tell me later, give us some space, since “he was obviously flirting with you”. I think he was more likely simply doing the car salesman thing, trying to get a sale, but then…there was definitely flirting involved.

Anyway, before I left the dealership that day, we exchanged numbers, for the purposes of the car sale, of course, and I went on my way. Turns out, however, that I will not be purchasing my car from his dealership, without getting into any of the boring details, I’m going through my work to get the car, and they have contracts with other dealerships, so I will not be going back to GQ to purchase my car.

However, GQ does not know this yet, and he has since called me to inform me that they got in a car in one of the colors I was interested in looking at, and would I like to come in and take a look at it. He left a voicemail, and I have yet to call him back.

Here’s where I need that push from you, because here’s where I’m bound to chicken out. I’ve decided to call him and tell him that although I won’t be buying at his dealership, I’d like to make it up to him and take him out for a drink. I mean, what have I got to lose, right? If the guy’s not interested, it’s not as if I ever have to see him again. Easiest rejection to deal with is the kind you never have to come face to face with again, isn’t it?

What do you think? Should I do it? Well, yeah, I know I should do it…but…will I do it?

Ah…the magnificent power of the crush.