A serious conversation

I believe my “blogger” card has officially been revoked.

Boy do I suck as a blogger lately.

I’ve been having one of those internal conversations for a few weeks now. You know, the serious conversations you have with yourself?

It’s been going a little bit like this:

Me: Self, maybe you should just throw in the towel on this whole blogging business.

Self: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: But, Self, you’re just not giving it the attention it deserves. Your heart isn’t in it, admit it.

Self: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Me: Self, stop that and listen up. You have serious writer’s block, you stare at the computer monitor and that darned blinking cursor and can’t think of a single thing to blog about lately. And even if you can think of something to blog about, you’re too busy to sit down and compose a post. You can’t blog from work like you used to at your old job, and you are never home evenings/weekends to do it. Face it, life has changed, you just can’t blog anymore.

Self: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Stop that.

Self: No, I will not. I will NOT listen to you, I will NOT quit blogging I will not will not will not.

Me: Okay, fine, then tell me, what are you going to do, because this is not working. You call yourself a blogger, but it’s been WEEKS since your last post. And you haven’t written anything of any quality in months, admit it.

Self: well…I don’t know, but I can’t quit. I can’t do it, I love my blog, I love my readers, I love that whole community, I can’t stop.

Me: Readers? Self, let’s be honest here, you don’t have any readers left. The few you did have, have long given up on you producing anything worth reading. They are kind of tired of coming in here and seeing a lame post from 3 weeks ago. You have made them promises of if not quantity, at the very least quality and have constantly failed to deliver. Can you blame them for bolting?

Self: Um…(looks down at feet, wrings hands) No…

Me: And community? Self, I know you love your fellow bloggers, but have you checked the unread count on your google reader? Because it’s pretty astronomical. You no longer have time to read or comment on any of your favorite blogs, when’s the last time you even logged into google reader?

Self: Um…I miss them! I want to visit them, but I’m just so busy…

Me: I know, Self, I know, but that’s what I’m telling you, maybe you just need to face facts and bow out gracefully.

Self: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Self!

Self: NO, you listen up, absolutely not I will NOT quit. I will not! So, maybe you’re right, maybe I’ve been neglectful of my bloggy friends. Maybe I don’t read or comment on their blogs like I used to. Maybe I don’t write quality posts like I used to. Maybe life has gotten a wee bit hectic and I’ve let it overshadow the “bloggy” part of it, but damn it, I’m a blogger. And they understand. They all have busy lives too. They don’t love me any less for it. Whenever I do pop in and say hello on their blogs, they still welcome me with open arms, even if it’s not as often. And whenever I do post in here, even if it is only once in a while, they are there for me. So, my comment count is negligible on both ends, giving and receiving. And you know what? Maybe I’m writing with no audience, but I don’t care. I’m a blogger, this is what I do. I’m not giving up on myself, and damn it, you shouldn’t either. We do good work when we work together.

Me: Well…okay then, I guess when you put it that way.

Self: I DO!

Me: Alright then, so what do we do?

Self: We keep trying. We post when we can, we read when we can, and we hope our readers, our bloggy friends understand and stick around. And even if they don’t, we write because we are a blogger, and that’s what bloggers do. Got it?

Me: Got it. Okay. Let’s do it.

Self: Good.

So, yeah…not quitting. Still attempting to write and entertain all 1 of you still reading. Y’all come back now you hear? ;-)