Tuesday, February 28, 2006

What about your friends?

The beauty of friends is that they come in all shapes and sizes, colors and schematics.

I’m really lucky in that I have some truly wonderful friends, who fit more than one mold, and are just wonderful to have in my life at all times.

But I was thinking the other day, in one of my “bees buzzing in my head” moments, about all the other friends. The “peripheral friends” I’ll call them. These are usually the really interesting ones. They are usually good friends, but not “great” friends, thus why you keep them on the peripheral.

The only true difference, in my eyes, between a GREAT friend, and a GOOD friend, is that a GREAT friendship doesn’t require maintenance from either party, the friendship just IS. Whether you see each other every day, or live thousands of miles apart and only see each other every other year, the friendship is true, and effortless. This is not to say that you will never fight with a “great” friend, because you will. It just means that once the fight has been fought, you’ve just become that much closer, the friendship is that much stronger.

In “good” friendships, you can have a lot of fun together, you can go through a lot of stuff together, be there for one another, and even think the world of each other, but, there’s always been a bit of a struggle to connect. You know those friendships where you have to think before you speak for fear of hurting their feelings? Or the ones where there’s always been more than one occasion where one of the friends felt snubbed, or ignored, or left out and it just always takes some work to make sure the friendship runs smoothly. Or maybe it’s simply the kind of friendship which with time, and distance, just slowly dies out, never to be heard from again. There is nothing inherently bad about about a “good” friend, it’s just lacking some mysterious ingredient which would make it great.

So, it was in thinking about friendships that I gave some thought to the types of friends every woman (for I can’t really speak for men) has both in the close and the peripheral classes. Here’s a few, and it is possible that a friend can be more than one of the following at once:

DISCLAIMER: The following is a completely fictional list of characters and none of my friends should take the list as a list of who my friends are (unless it makes them happy to do so). I have some of these in my circle, and I have others that don’t quite fit into any specific mold, if you take offense, let it be known that you are definitely NOT the person I was thinking of (if I was thinking of anyone at all) I love you all dearly for your virtues and your quirks.

The Pleaser: This friend is the kind that whether she does it on purpose, or it simply comes naturally, she is so eager to please that you sometimes wonder if she has any interests of her own. She will wait for your suggestion as to what you should do together, or if she does make a recommendation of her own, it is quickly followed by a “is that okay? We don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.”

The Database: (Sometimes this friend is both the pleaser and the DB): This friend is the one who always remembers every birthday, job interview, date or special event you have on the horizon and calls you the very next day to see how things went. Personally, I love this friend and wish I could be her.

The Shoulder: This is the one you ALWAYS call when you’ve been through a break-up, or you’ve broken a nail. She listen, she hugs and she always knows the right thing to say, even it it’s just “That sucks, I’m sorry”.

The Drama Queen: Needs no explanation really, but you know with this friend, she’ll always top you with her stories, her ailments, her crisis’s. Very closely related to the Negative Nelly.

The Negative Nelly: There is NOTHING in the world that can ever go right for this girl. And even when it does, it just means it’s somehow going to explode and go wrong. This is not necessarily the truth, but stick with her long enough, and you’ll start believing it too.

The Positive Patty: in contrast to Ms. Negative, this girl always sees the bright side of things. You stubbed your toe? Well, at least you stopped thinking about your headache right? Lost your job, well now you can find something you really love to do. Not a bad person to have on your side. Except on those days when you really just want someone to scream with. Call Nelly then.

The Bad News Bear: This friend, unlike the Drama Queen, won’t necessarily call you with her personal woes, but always has a terrible story to share, or some news article she read that will put the fear of God into you. This is also the friend you should NEVER discuss your health with, because she is likely to respond with “I don’t mean to scare you but…” Friends are supposed to say “I’m sure it’s nothing”, you never want to hear the other words come out of their mouths. (the bad news bear in my life by the way, was the inspiration for this entry).

The Flake: God love her, she is one of your favorite people in the world, but you sure hope this girl always has friends like you around her to keep her from walking in front of a speeding bus. She would give you the shirt off her back, trouble is, she might ACTUALLY give you the shirt of her back, in public, in broad daylight.

The Boss: You know her, she’s always in charge, and although sometimes you may resent it, most of the time, you don’t really mind, after all, someone has to do the planning, make the phone calls, grab that cute boy’s attention and push you right in front of him on the dance floor. Yes, I know we can be annoying (yes, I am very aware I fall into this category), but you do love us for it.

The Superstar: This is your glamorous friend. She always looks perfect, has all the new toys, knows all the right people. She can find out any information you need at any time, and is sure to be the first to plan that exotic vacation. The only real problem with this friend, is you always feel like the frumpy younger sister next to her. But at least she’ll let you borrow her clothes. (NO, I absolutely do not think I am her, I am always the frumpy younger sister).

These are just a few of the ones I can think of. I am sure there are more, and I’m sure you’ve got plenty you can share with me. Please do.


Ang said...

Hey!! I'm here from Wendy.
You have quite a list there!! I don't think I have anything to add at the moment.

Anonymous said...

Great list. One of my best friends is most definitely the drama queen one. :) Wendy directed me here today.

Paste said...

New friends are great but keep 'the old, cos they are gold!'

Excellant post, here from Wendy's today.

Katherine said...

Oh that was great! I can't add anything b/c I think you covered all the possibilities. I have to say that my least fav type is "postive Patty". Wendy "directed" me here.

Rebecca said...

That's a good list - I think I might have just a smidge of it all, but I've most definitely perfected the "frumpy sister" ;-)

Michelle | Bleeding Espresso said...

Great rundown, and yes, everyone knows one of every category. Great job :)