He Said Write About Time Machines

This post is dedicated to my Twitter buddy Chris Blake (@chrisblake) who is not only a great guy, but is also a very talented musician, you should totally check him out: ChrisBlakeMusic.com. Anyway, he said I should write about time machines. I hope he's not disappointed that I didn't take a more sci-fi direction with this post. ;-)

I believe in living in the moment. I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about this before here on my blog, but I’m a firm believer that we should live our life NOW in the present, not focusing on things past, and not daydreaming about the future.

TODAY is the only day that really matters.

For the most part anyway.

So, I believe in appreciating all the little and big moments as they happen, and this has made my life one full of wonder and miracles.

But sometimes, just once in a little while, I stop to reflect on the past, what has brought me here, to this moment. The choices I’ve made, the struggles I’ve been through, the gifts I’ve been given. And sometimes, I take a moment to imagine the future. To wonder where this life is leading me, where my choices are taking me, which of my wishes will be granted.

It’s only natural to do that, I think.

But, as much as reflecting on the past can be a good thing, for I find I learn much, about the world, and about myself by thinking of where I’ve been, I know I wouldn’t want to go back. The truth is, when all is said and done, I wouldn’t change a thing. Because whatever little thing I might choose to change would in turn change everything else, like the butterfly effect, and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now.

And I mean that. Despite the fact that I find myself at a crossroads, in a bit of pain, accepting my vulnerabilities and loneliness…I wouldn’t want it any other way, because this is just a part of the process that will lead me to my future.

And what of the future? Do I want to know what comes next? Not even a little bit. I have always refused to go to fortune tellers or seers or any of that sort of thing. It has nothing to do with moral or religious beliefs. It also has nothing to do with disbelief or thinking they’re all phonies. Truth be told, they might very well know EXACTLY what they speak of, and that is actually why I won’t do it.

Because I don’t want to know.

The beauty of my life is in the surprises it has brought me, and continually brings me. Why would I ever take the joy of discovering my next miracle away from myself?

So, if you ask me would I want to step into a time machine, where would I want to take it? I’d tell you I’m perfectly content here, in the now of the moment.

Although, if I could use said time machine to visit the past without disturbing it’s path…maybe I’d go have a chat with my two dearly departed grandmothers, because I do miss them so…

Where would you go in a time machine?

Raw

I’ve been doing a whole lot of inner soul searching lately.

I’m going through something of a transformation if you will. Digging deep, opening up doors that have been locked for many many years. Stripping off the layers of self-preservation, removing the masks, stepping out from behind the walls I’ve built up.

Like a snake shedding its skin, this is a necessary step for growth. But in the meantime, I’m left raw, naked, vulnerable, and hurting.

There are emotions I haven’t allowed myself to feel for a very long time. Some, perhaps, never at all.

I catch myself having moments of despair. Panic attacks. I am alone, I am scared, I am unsure and lost.

And then it passes, and I see the beauty of the situation. In allowing myself to open up, I begin to see all the promise of tomorrow. God has a plan for me, and for so very long I’ve fought him on it, keeping myself closed off and refusing to participate in this life he’s given me.

But now, in the midst of the pain, the struggle, the heartache, I see possibility, renewal, life.

I’m quite certain the tears are not done being shed, my heart will ache still, and I will have days when crawling back into the cocoon will feel like such a better alternative.

But I want to be a butterfly…I’ve got to bravely face the world, vulnerability and all…it’s the only way to fly.

Popinjay - Curious

This week’s Popinjay prompt is Curious – eager to know about something, too inquisitive…

I know a while back, when we first started popinjay, there were some rules about no kids or pets…I also know we’ve all taken it upon ourselves to break all the rules somewhere along the way, lol.

SO, this week, I am once again breaking the rules, because well…let’s be honest, what’s more curious than a cat?

And I have two.

This is Turtle…

...investigating the only plant I’ve ever managed to keep and not kill.

When this plant started out in my house, about 3 years ago, it was a little bitty thing…it is now a tree. It was taller, actually, but the twins (the kitties) got quite CURIOUS about it when they first came home, and knocked it over, and broke the top half clean off.

Still, my lovely tree/plant thrives.

And still the cats are curious…

When Boys Had Cooties

There was a time, somewhere in my early childhood, when I thought all boys had cooties.

Or so I'm led to believe.

Because, there's a time in every little girl's life when boys have cooties, right?

Except, the thing is...I don't remember that time.

No, to be quite honest with you, I just remember ALWAYS liking boys.

I liked to chase them around, play tag and hide and seek, climb trees and ride bikes with them.

Maybe it was because I was a bit of a tomboy, but boys didn't really have cooties, they were just FUN to be with.

Then I got girlie. But even then, I liked boys. Of course, by then, I liked boys because they were cute, and silly, and they made me giggle and blush.

So, I'd like to tell you that I miss a time when I thought all boys had cooties...but, I don't remember there ever being such a time.

Which is too bad, because then I'd have a point of reference for going back to when now, as a full grown adult, heading back into the dating world in my "gulp" thirties...I really wish I could just say "boys are dumb and they have cooties" and go play barbies with the girls.

I won't bore you with the latest details of my "non-dates" with Runner Boy, because well...there isn't much to tell.

But, the truth is, all this back and forth is exciting, and exhausting, it's nerve racking and giggle inducing...dating is...FUN. And...so ANNOYING.

It would just be so much easier if boys really did have cooties.

Livin' The Good Life

I've said this before on this blog, I live a charmed life.

I really do. I have an amazing family, incredible friends, a great job, a wonderful home...and so many more blessings.

Tonight, my charmed life took me to a Boston Bruins hockey game.

Wait, let me explain. I'm not actually a hockey fan. In fact, before I met my friend Traveler, I don't think I have ever watched a hockey game. But Traveler is a HUGE hockey fan, and she's one of my best friends, so we started going to hockey games together years ago.

Then three years ago Traveler moved to Florida, and our hockey outings took a break. But she's moved back home, and so, it was only a matter of time before we would find ourselves rink side again.

Tonight Traveler scored us four tickets to a Boston Bruins hockey game (because she has all sorts of connections, and is always getting her hands on free tickets to this or that for us). So, the two of us, along with my brother and his fiance, went to the game, unsure where our seats would be located.

We picked up our tickets to discover we were actually going to be sitting in a VIP Luxury box, and let me tell you, you haven't watched a hockey game until you've watched it from a luxury box.

I'm not the world's biggest hockey fan, but tonight? I was totally engrossed in the game, and had a wonderful time chatting with my brother (who is a fanatic) about the rules of hockey, and enjoying a beer in the comfy seats I would never have bought for myself.

Yep, I really do live a charmed life.