Randomness

Life is crazy beautiful! Okay, well, it's crazy anyway, and therefore, I've been neglecting my blog (as well as other people's blogs that I need to catch up on).

Anyway, this past weekend here in lovely New England we were hit with a Nor'Easter. For those of you not in the know, that is New England for "a whole crapload of snow". We knew the storm was hitting on Saturday night, so it was all about getting stuff done before mandatory hibernation set in.

Friday night I went to the movies and saw "Walk the Line". I really enjoyed this movie. I was impressed with Reese Witherspoon's acting and with her singing. She's not going to win any Grammy's, but she certainly held her own. And Joaquim Phoenix? Well, I have to tell you, he blew me away. Not only is he an incredible actor, but he sounded so much like Johnny Cash. It was very impressive that these actors took on the added role of singing the songs themselves, and I think that it added an extra level to the movie. They deserve every award they get! This movie gets 5/5 stars for me! I will watch it again when it's out on DVD.

Saturday morning I woke up feeling sick. Turns out the cold I thought I'd kicked about a week and a half ago, was only on hiatus and came back with a vengeance on Saturday morning. Even so, I got my arse out of bed and went to the gym like a good girl. Aren't you all so proud of me? After that I made what was supposed to be a quick trip (and turned into a NOT so quick "wait") to AAA to pay for my vacation to Mexico. A small heart attack and large credit card debit later, I headed home to shower and change. I then rushed to pick up the girls to take them to gymnastics, and while they were somersaulting and cart wheeling, I made an unsuccessful attempt to find the ever elusive winter boots in February in New England (see previous post for related rant). Upon picking the girls up from gymnastics and taking the hyper active one home, lil K and I went to my friend Shizzy's one year old's birthday party. OOH Joy. I was very sad to not be able to cuddle with the little guy, but alas, I was infected and therefore banned from the kiddies. So I oggled and cooed from afar, feeling like death warmed over. Once the party ended, I made a quick jaunt to a megastore that shall not be named, as I'm supposed to be boycotting it (oops) for catfood, and AHA I found the ever elusive black boots!

Cat food and AWSOME black boots in hand, I dropped lil K off at home, and went home myself. Pj's were thrown on, blankets and pillows were grabbed, and I took up residence on my couch, from where I would not move again until the bed was calling. In my medicine head funk, I somehow decided to watch "New York Minute", a Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen movie...ha! DELIRIOUS I was...actually, it was a cute mindless flick and I much enjoyed it. I then attempted to watch Van Helsing, but fell asleep somewhere in the middle and woke up 2 hours later with a kink in my neck. Sunday morning I woke up to find the pretty white stuff falling from the sky. Normally snow makes me cranky, but as I'd decided that I was not leaving the house until Monday, I was happy to see my excuse all white and shiny outside my windows. Over breakfast I finished watching Van Helsing. I had no idea this movie was a comedy. It's kind of a mix between a sci-fi monster flick and a silly movie full of cliches. I enjoyed it, it was fun to watch, but it was not at all what I was expecting.

It turned out that my cold had only visited on Saturday so I wouldn't get my baby time at the birthday party, because Sunday I was feeling much better. I spent the rest of the day cleaning the house, doing laundry and watching Lifetime movies. I watched "It Had to Be You" with Michael VArtan (of Alias) and Natasha Henstridge which is a story of two people who meet on the weekend they are planning their weddings to other people, and fall in love. Typical sappy, love story, but cute. And then I watched "Cake" with Heather Graham, Taye Diggs (YUMMY), Sandra Oh (who I love) and a bunch of other people who I don't know. This was a cute story of an independant "travel writer" who is a single woman and as her friends call her "wedding phobic". She winds up running her dad's wedding magazine while he is sick, and hillarity ensues. Another one of those sappy love stories, but still cute. My favorite thing of the movie? A t-shirt she wore which read "I think, therefore I'm single"...MUST get one for myself.

I ended my Sunday watching the BEST EVER episode of Greys' anatomy. If you don't watch this show, run out and buy season 1 and then find a way to catch up on season 2...this show is incredible TV! I highly recommend it.

Woke up this morning in a nice rested, happy mood. AND then I went to work and it all went to hell...but really, I'm not going to get into that here.

Tomorrow, as promissed to someone who asked, you shall get the obligatory "Anti-black Tuesday" post.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Thirteen Things about ME 1…. Karina is my middle name 2 . I was born in Africa 3 . I lived in Portugal for 10 years 4 . I've lived in the USA for 20 years 5 . I've been a big sister through "Big Brother Big Sister" to my "lil sis" for 5 years 6 . I'm older than my real little brother by 10 years 7 . I think family and real friends are the most important things in life 8 . I'm addicted to reality television 9 . I love sushi 10. The cat in the picture is my little devil Calla Lilly 11. When I grow up I want to be a writer 12. I kill all plants except for my one bamboo and my one cactus which for some reason I've managed to keep alive for years now 13. I'm happy to be turning 31 this year. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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Snow Shoes??

I live in New England. It is cold here from about September 20th to about the end of May. Maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but really, if you’re a New Englander, you know I’m not stretching it all that much. Summer lasts about 3 weeks or so, falling somewhere between July and August. The rest of the year is mild at best.

This winter, we’ve had what they’re calling an “unseasonably warm” winter. The temps have stayed in the mid to upper 40s and 50s, the sun has been out, we are all very pleased, well, except maybe the skiers. Winter appears, however, to be on it’s way back in, and as New Englanders, we will grumble, and complain, but we’ll grab our shovels, our hats and mittens, and deal with it. We live here, therefore, we deal.

The weather, per se, is not my issue today. Today, my issue is with the retail industry, so if you will indulge me:

An open letter to retail America:

Dear Retailers:

In case nobody alerted you, the groundhog saw his shadow. This means that we are expecting six more weeks of winter. For us New Englanders, that means about 12 more weeks of unreasonably cold weather, and the occasional Nor’Easter. While I understand your excitement at the colorful new bathing suits you’ve created, do I need to see them now? When just the mere thought of going outside in a bikini sends shivers into my brain, walking into Target and seeing rows upon rows of multi-colored itty bitty swimsuits is NOT a pleasant experience.

Now, let’s talk shoes for a minute, shall we? Shoes, as I’m sure you are aware, are an essential part of any self-respecting woman’s wardrobe. We love our shoes. We take our shoes very seriously. So, it goes without saying that a woman in New England will not only have a vast collection of winter shoes (ie boots), but won’t be caught dead in open toe shoes until AT LEAST May, for fear of losing her poor little toes to frostbite.

That said, why is it that in the first weeks of February it is nearly impossible to find any footwear in any retail establishment that would cover afore mentioned toes? Boots? HA! Nary a one. Are we then to presume that if we have an unfortunate accident mid-winter, for example, a heel breaking off the staple "every woman has them" knee high black boots, we then will have to refrain from wearing black until it is safe to show our toes?

I’m not asking for much, I would just like to buy shoes and clothes during the actual season when I can actually wear them. And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, now that you’ve released the swimsuits into the wild, can we keep them around until those of us who live in layers for warmth have had a chance to shed the “winter weight”? Say…May?

Many thanks.

To baby or not to baby?

THAT is the question all over that place lately.

In Hollywood: Is Angelina pregnant with Brad’s child? Is Katie…excuse me, I mean KATE Holmes really pregnant and what kind of alien child will be born of this strange coupling? Is Brittney pregnant again?

In Washington: Alito has been confirmed, and what does that mean for women’s reproductive rights?

In the Media: Walmart is being sued for not carrying the morning after pill. Germany is concerned over their low birth rates.

In day-to-day life: friends are having babies, planning babies, talking about babies.

And in books, but only because I just finished reading a book titled “Maybe Baby”, which is a collection of essays on the issue of baby-making, or not. This was an excellent book, which so eloquently stated all sides of the breeding issue. Those who have them, those who want them, those who don’t (have them or want them). As I read the book, I started reflecting on my own personal feelings on this issue.

As a 30-year-old single woman in today’s society, I’d be lying if I said the baby thing doesn’t cross my mind often. I’m surrounded by all the above factors, not to mention that I’ve always loved children, and simply melt at the sight of a cute kid. I stop in my tracks when a baby stroller goes by me, and get lost in the smiling and cooing and flirting with the small child. Therefore, one would think, that I’d be ITCHING for motherhood. But, one would be wrong. At least I think one would be wrong. See, that’s the thing, when it comes to the prospect of having my own children, I’m completely ambivalent. Reading “Maybe Baby” I found myself agreeing wholeheartedly with some of the writers who discussed their reasons for wanting children, the unexplainable desire, the joy they imagined (and then realized) it would bring them. But then I also found myself agreeing just as adamantly with those who explained their reasons why they couldn’t imagine themselves parenting, yet, or ever.

And this is the exact spot where I just lost most of you. “Never parenting?” you ask appalled “But how could you say such a thing?” Those who know me personally are shaking their heads in disbelief, after all, I’d make such a good mother, and I’m so great around kids. Those who don’t are just thinking, “Oh, she’s one of THOSE women”.

Now let me be clear, I have NO idea, if I will or will not ever have a child. I’m ambivalent remember? BUT, the thought has crossed my mind on several occasions, that I may always just be the “cool auntie” and never the “mommy”. There are several reasons for this. Reason number 1: I’m single. But that of course isn’t the heart of the reason, the heart of it is that I thoroughly enjoy being single. I toy with the idea of love and marriage, and most often return to the “no, thanks, not for me” stance. I may be on the fence about whether I’m ready to be a mother, but I have no doubt that I am in no way, shape or form ready to be a wife. I don’t know that I EVER want to get married. I might, as I’m constantly told by the “smug marrieds” around me “just meet that guy and fall deeply in love and blah blah blah”. I might. And then I might not. I might meet that guy, and still not want the marriage, the invasion of my space, the complete handing over of my trust. I have trust issues. I work for lawyers, we do lots of divorces, I don’t think most of society takes marriage seriously enough, and therefore, I take it too seriously. BUT, I might decide one day that yep, I want to marry this man and make babies with him. It’s true, it could happen. Reason number 2: I’m selfish. Now, this one I know for a fact is a passing thing. But I’ve spent most of my life trying to please those around me, and it’s only recently that I’ve begun to focus on ME. I like it. I don’t want to share it. I don’t want to give up my sleep, I don’t want to give up my nights out sipping martinis, I don’t want to become one of those people that only talks about her babies, not because it’s annoying, but because it means I have NO OTHER LIFE but my babies. Not yet, I’m still having too much fun. Reason number 3: Pregnancy doesn’t appeal to me in any imaginable way. There is absolutely NOTHING about the condition that I find even the slightest bit tempting. I blame this mostly on my ex-co-workers for sharing more birthing information than any childless woman should EVER have to hear. And yes, I know, it’s a beautiful thing, and you feel your baby inside and you have a special bond and blah blah blah…I know all this. I’m still absolutely petrified of the whole idea of pregnancy and giving birth, and there really is nothing anybody can say that will change my mind. I am sure, however, that once I go through it myself, IF I do, that I’ll probably have to eat my words because I’ll be one of those women who loves every moment of being pregnant. I tell you what, I’ll happily eat my words, because I have a feeling I’m more likely to be the miserable pregnant person who everybody feels sorry for. Reason Number 4: I think our world SUCKS. There I said it. There is too much violence, disease, hatred, anger, depression, and just nastiness. And it’s not getting any better; in fact, daily I’m shocked by how much worse it gets. The thought of voluntarily bringing a child into this world, and then watching them have to survive in it? Not only does it sadden me deeply, it terrifies me. I am a worrier of the worst kind (thanks mom for this trait); I have constant panic attacks about the state of my family, my friends, and complete strangers. And I understand that a maternal connection to a child is intense, so I can only imagine what a basket case I will/would be as a mother. Not so sure I can handle it, and I’m not so sure it’s fair to inflict my dramatics onto a poor innocent child.

There are more reasons, but these four top the charts.

There is, however, a loophole around most of these reasons. That loophole is actually something I’ve thought about for most of my adult life. Adoption. See, I’ve always wanted to adopt. And with the exception of reason number 2 (selfish), adoption would eliminate most of my reasons. And as we discussed, the selfishness is temporary. For adoption, I actually don’t need a husband, or even a boyfriend. Reason number one –gone. And yeah, I know all about “scientific” ways to have a child without a man, but I’m not interested in those because…see reason number 3 for starters. But also because I think there are too many broken homes in this world, and I refuse to purposely bring a child into one. If a child already doesn’t have a home, well, then one parent is better than no parents, right? And let me quickly say, before I get lambasted, that I am not knocking single parenting in any way shape or form. I think single parents are amazing, and I applaud them with all my heart. I know most single parents didn’t choose this as their situation, and even if you did, you have EVERY RIGHT to make that choice. I’m just saying that for me personally, it’s the wrong choice. This also brings me back to reason number 4 above. I don’t want to bring a child into this world unless I can at least have the fantasy that I’m providing them with a daddy too, because the world is already so screwed up, so I just couldn’t do that. But adoption? Well, that child is already in this world, so if I can make it better for them, then there you have it, reason number four – GONE. And quite obviously, adoption does away with the whole pregnancy issue all together, and that’s just fabulous!

But of course loopholes come with catches. The catch is, there’s no way I can afford adoption. So there you have it, for the time being at least, no babies for me.

What I loved about this book was the realization that I am not alone in these feelings. I loved that the writers were from all walks of life, and had all made such different choices, with such unique reasons for those choices. It made it easier to see that I don’t have to have all the answers, now, or ever. And if I do end up choosing parenthood, even then, I don’t have to have all the answers. Good to know.

So the moral of the story is, that I just don’t know where I stand on parenthood, except that I know now is not the time. And that’s okay, in fact, it’s great. I have plenty of time to figure things out while I play with everyone else's kids.

Concert Review

In keeping with my new year’s resolution to LIVE life a bit more this year, I went out on a “school” night this week! Yep, I’m living dangerously folks.

My friend N had mentioned at the beginning of the year that Lifehouse would be playing at a Boston nightclub in February, and did I want to go. Not really sure who Lifehouse were, but being familiar with their one song that the radio plays INCESSANTLY “You and Me”, and actually really liking the song, I agreed. I then actually decided to make the concert ticket her birthday present, and so the plan was made. In case you don't know, this is lifehouse: http://www.lifehousemusic.com/

I used to love going to concerts. I love music, and I love live music that much more. For years, starting in highschool, all the way through the end of college, there wasn’t a summer that wasn’t populated with various concert attendances. I’ve seen everyone from New Kids on the Block (yep, I said it) to Aerosmith. One of these days I’ll have to do an entry about all the concerts I’ve been to, but that’s for another day.

Anyway, as I’ve gotten older, and funds have gotten tighter, time and money have prevented me from going to as many concerts. So, it’s always nice when a reasonably priced opportunity to see a live band presents itself.

Not wanting to be clueless at this concert, I borrowed N’s Lifehouse cds, burnt them onto the mp3 player, and studied up on the band. Turns out I really like their music. BONUS.

So, the concert was last night. After a “so not on my diet” dinner at Boston Beer Works, we headed over to Avalon for the show. The opening act, a girl by the name of Mozella, was performing when we got there. She was actually pretty good. Sounded a bit like “Nelly Furtado” but more rock then pop. Folksy. Different. If you’re curious, go here: http://www.mozellamusic.com/

This being a general admission show, we managed to work our way all the way to the front, a little off to the side of the stage. We were pretty much standing right by the velvet rope to the area where the bouncers were hanging out to keep crazy fans from...I don't know...rushing the stage or something. We wound up having a fun time just joking around with the bouncers before the show even started. Except for this one guy who was on a major power trip. He was an idiot.

Anyway, then Lifehouse came out. Huh, these guys are pretty young. I had no idea what they even looked like, so it was kind of fun to even just see them and find out what they looked like. They’re an odd bunch, the lead singer has a “Charlie from Lost” look to him, the guitarist looks like a surfer dude, the drummer is more of a punk rock, shaved head looking guy, and the bassist had that rough n’ tough look to him. But they sounded great. You know how sometimes you’ll go see a musician live, and you realize that the only reason their album sounds good is because it’s all digitally re-mastered or whatever? This wasn’t the case at all. These guys sounded better live than on the cds. The lead singer has a great voice, and they all play with passion. They take this stuff seriously, but also have fun performing it. It was a great show, and I’m really glad we went.

I also had another one of those “man, I’m getting old” moments. Actually, I had a few of them last night. There were the obvious ones, when all the teenybopper girls (the show was an all ages show) were squealing in delight, and I thought my eardrums were going to burst, the fact that my back was killing me and I just wanted to sit down for FIVE minutes, those moments. And then there was the big one. At one point Jason Wade (the lead singer), jumped off the stage, and ran over RIGHT to where we were standing. He actually stopped about two feet from me to sing for a while. I thought it was pretty cool of him to do that, but that was the extent of my excitement. The little girls around me were all going insane, hearts aflutter “Oh my God I touched him”. And I thought to myself “huh…not so much”. Actually, truth be told, I also touched him, but I didn’t mean to, but IDIOT above mentioned bouncer decided that I was obviously a threat, and in his rush to protect Mr. Wade from me, actually pushed me INTO him. It wasn’t a full on collision or anything, just a “oh, oops, okay balance is back” moment. But it was funny, because all I was thinking was “please don’t let me get trampled”. Yep, I’m getting old.

All in all it was a good show, great night, and the best part is, I’m obviously not THAT old, because even though I was out until…gasp…midnight, I had no more trouble getting up this morning than usual (which is to say, it sucked, but not any more than it always does).
Hmmm, what concert can I go to next?