Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Warrior Girl

Ever since I discovered Wonder Woman as a little girl, I’ve wanted to be a superhero.  Then, in high school and college, I became a huge Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan, and I totally wanted to be that girl.  The one who can kick serious butt while wearing stiletto boots and a skirt.

But there was one little problem to this desire.

I was lazy.

As a little girl, I did gymnastics, and even ran track for a few years.  But once puberty hit, I became way more interested in boys and fashion then I ever would be in sports and sweating.

In high school I was one of the girls who opted to “walk around the track” during gym class to avoid breaking a sweat (or God forbid a nail) during volleyball.  I only owned a pair of sneakers because it was required for said gym class.  I was not a jock.

I really wanted to be strong, fast, a superhero, but I had no desire to actually, physically, do anything strenuous.

Then, in the last few years, I started working out more, and then running, and then, suddenly, in this last year, everything changed.

And on June 28th of this year, I did something that my inner “stiletto wearing, make-up loving, boy crazy” girlie girl would have told you was ABSOLUTELY NOT EVER going to happen.

I ran the Warrior Dash.

What is the Warrior Dash you ask?  It is a 3 mile “run” through the woods, over obstacles such as 20 foot walls and rope ladders, ending in a mud pit of epic proportions.  Go here for a better idea (including a video of the insanity).

Yeah…I did that!  And I loved every muddy moment of it.  It was taxing, and challenging and exhausting.

It poured that morning, so I was wet, and sweaty, and muddy and gross.

I had bruises and cuts all over.

I have never been so dirty in my entire life.

I can’t wait to do it all over again next year.

Pushing beyond the limits I set for myself years ago felt amazing.  I felt like a butterfly finally pushing out of that cocoon.  There was this feeling of re-birth.  The new me emerging, muddy, and sore, and laughing.

I am an athlete, and I have the medal and the bruises to prove it.

I am Warrior Girl.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Shall We Dance?

I am getting pretty tired of this song and dance.

I promise you (I promise me) that I’m going to blog more often, I get you (I get me) all excited that THIS will be the time when I will once again return to my regular blogging habits.

For a time, all seems well, I’m here, I’m present, I’m blogging.

And then…it all falls apart again.

I miss a day. I miss a week. And suddenly I’ve missed a whole month.

The doubts creep in, the judgments, the accusations…

Do I even have a right to call myself a blogger anymore? Should I just throw in the towel? Is there a point to any of this anyway?

But like a dysfunctional relationship, I come back, again and again…unable to break away.

Unlike one of those relationships, however, there is no downside to blogging…even sporadically.

Truth is, whether I’m writing daily, weekly, or even monthly…I’m writing.

Whether anyone is even reading is no longer the point anyway.

Like most things in my life nowadays, I’m doing this for me.

I have learned that if I do things for me, without any expectations of praise or recognition, without feeling the need to be validated by the outside world…then I’m doing something right.

So, here we go again, another tango, another dance, another try at this…

How long will the music last this time?