Good Friends, Good Times

If you’ve followed my blog for a while, then you are probably aware that “Some of My Best Friends are…people I met on the internet”.

I have always been the type of person who can make friends in the most unusual of ways. I’m outgoing and talkative by nature, so I’ll strike up a conversation with just about anyone, just about anywhere, about just about anything. I have made (and met) friends over pen pal letters from as far away as Germany, when I was just a teenybopper. I have bonded with girls over musical tastes, a pair of shoes, and a laptop computer while on a flight to visit another long distance friend. And then, of course, there are my internet friends.

If you click on that link above, you can get a little more history on a particular group of friends I met online almost 9 years ago. These 6 girls and I have been through everything together. Break-ups, make-ups, marriages, babies, health issues, career changes, moves, successes, failures, drama and good times. I’ve been lucky to meet almost all of them in person at one point or another, and I count them among my very best friends in the world. Up until this weekend, I had yet to meet two of them in person.

But this past weekend “WEST Virginia” came to stay with me.

There was a little bit of apprehension on both of our parts about finally meeting face to face. We spend most of our days texting and/or instant messaging each other, and we get along fabulously over technology. But what if we didn’t “click” when actually face to face? What if it was awkward? As she kept saying “what if she thinks I’m a dork?” What if…would we ruin our great friendship by meeting?

Truth be told, I was more excited than anxious. I had faith that we would get along fabulously.

Thankfully, I was right. We clicked instantly, and it was as if we were simply old friends who hadn’t seen each other in a while, reconnecting after a long absence. There was no awkwardness. And let us be honest, we’re both big dorks, and we’re both well aware of that already, so there was no issue there either.

I picked her up at the airport on Thursday afternoon, and we instantly launched into an easy conversation about her flight, and giggled like schoolgirls as we tried to locate my car in the parking garage.

Thursday night was made easier by a home cooked crock pot meal (made by yours truly and pretty darn good if I do say so myself) and the two hour season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy, a show we watch together via instant messenger weekly.

Friday I dragged her to work with me (kicking and screaming for the early morning hour), where we were having an employee appreciation cook-out at midday. We left after lunch and headed out for some shopping. Friday evening we had dinner at my parents’ house, where she met my family, parents, grandfather and Bro and his girlfriend. Everyone got along fabulously and we had a great evening.

Saturday we spent the day at a flea market, and then went to the movies. Sunday I drove her back to the airport, and was sad to see her go, knowing that if she lived closer, we would certainly spend a lot of time together.

It was a laid back, fun, and casual weekend. It was an easy, comfortable, not at all forced time with a great friend.

I look forward to our next visit, but am glad to know that we can continue our daily texting and/or instant messaging chats in the meantime, without any awkwardness.

Isn’t the internet great?

Only The Good Friday - Fall, Shoes and Friends...it's all Good.

If you follow me on Twitter (and if you don’t, why not?) then you know I’ve been Mrs. Cranky Pants all week.

I could get into a detailed discussion of all the reasons why Cranky Karina made her appearance known this week, but…well, it’s FRIDAY, and that means it’s Only The Good Friday, and we focus on the positives on OTGF.

SO, instead of giving Cranky Karina any more airtime, I’m going to focus on the good things.

What good things, you ask?

Oh, there’s plenty.

For starters, Fall has arrived in New England with a vengeance. And next to Summer, Fall just happens to be my favorite season of the year. It’s been a bit chillier than I would like it to be the last few days, but temps are said to be rising the next few days. Which means sleeping with windows open, waking up to that slight chill, but crisp scent in the air, and then enjoying sunny and warm afternoons before the sun sets and that crisp chill hits once again. I love fall weather, truly.

Fall also means a wardrobe change. Now, if you know me, you know these are the simple things that brighten my days. Yes, I’ll be sad to put away the summer dresses and shorts and flip-flops, but I get to exchange them for cardigans and long sleeved t-shirts and oh…boots. Did you hear me? BOOT weather is nearly here. Oh how I love my boots.

And really, when all else fails, focus on the shoes. The shoes make everything better.

Speaking of shoes, one of my twitter buddies (@ashleygreenere) introduced me to something yesterday that may just be the greatest internet invention of all time. “Shoedazzle.com” is basically a “shoe-of-the-month” club. Yes, you read that right, and if you know me at all, then you know at the moment my head is SPINNING at the mere idea of this. Needless to say, yes, I signed up, and will be keeping you posted on my thoughts about the site and the program. I’m waiting until I receive my first shoe recommendations before I talk about it anymore, but I will post a review about it once I do.

BUT a shoe-of-the-month club? GENIUS.

And since I mentioned my twitter buddies, I should also mention that in the midst of the bad week I was having, those same twitter friends were a great source of support and encouragement for me. What an amazing group of people gathered together by that little blue bird, and how lucky am I to have stumbled across them. I don’t care what anybody says, as far as I’m concerned, Twitter is a GOOD thing.

I’ve met so many amazing people on this interweb, it’s such a great thing.

Speaking of my internet friends, another very good thing is happening next week. I shall have a houseguest next weekend, and she happens to be one of my very best friends. She also happens to be someone I met on the internet oh, over 8 years ago, and who I have yet to meet face to face. Yes, that’s right, we’ve never met face to face, and she’s coming to spend the weekend with me. But you have to understand that for a little under a decade, we’ve been in almost daily, and certainly weekly communication. With a small group of other ladies (some of whom we’ve both been able to meet in person), we’ve been through break-ups, marriages, childbirths, family drama, deaths and successes. These girls at times know me better than any of my “real life” friends could even dream to know me. And this particular friend and I have grown even closer in the last year or so, with daily text and instant messaging conversations. She’ll be here Thursday through Sunday and I am so excited to have her visit.

See, all good things.

So, there you have it, my Only The Good Friday post for this week. Ah, I feel better, don’t you?

Don’t forget to stop by Shelly’s, as she’s the brains (and heart) behind Only The Good Fridays.

Only The Good Friday - Because Enough with the Bad

It's been a while since I've posted. I took a little blogging hiatus.

Needed some time to focus on some other things.

I was actually not going to come back from my hiatus until Monday, but it's Friday, which means it's Only The Good Friday, and as this week seems to have been particularly mired in the bad out there, I thought it was time for some good.

So, as the rest of the interwebs, and media outlets and such focus on the "BAD" today (there's a really bad pun in there somewhere, but I'm leaving that one entirely alone), let's take a look at what's good this week:

For starters, personally for me, the sun is out today. After WEEKS of cloudy grey skies and rain...to wake up (after a loud and stormy night) and see

this:

That's a good thing folks. (disclaimer, that picture was actually NOT taken today, it was taken a few weeks ago, but you don't care about that, do you?)

Also on the good? It is Fiesta Friday in Gloucester, Massachusetts tonight, which means a bunch of crazy folks will be out and about partying about town.

And I and my crazy friends will be among the bunch. As a group we tend to do a lot of praying and good deeds together, but not as much rowdy partying, or just casual "hanging out" as we'd like, so we're all pretty excited about a night out on the town.

Always a good time when we get together. This picture is from last year's Fiesta, and as much as I hate how I look in it, it's proof positive of the wild and crazy bunch I run with...plus I've dropped 25 lbs. since it was taken, so this year's pictures should be be

tter for all! ;-)

As if that wasn't enough goodness, last night I booked my flight to Cali, where I will be going to visit my cousin PM and her boys (husband and two sons) for a week in July.

I promised her oldest I'd come see "his house" this summer, and am so happy to be delivering on that promise. Can't wait to see them all...

And finally, because um...I really need to go get ready for work, I leave you with this bit of good...

You woke up this morning. No matter the state of your life, the stresses, the aches, the sadness, or whatever else you might be dealing with...you woke up. You were blessed with another chance to turn it around. Say a prayer of thank you, and enjoy your Friday.

Have a GOOD Friday everyone, and don't forget to pop on over to Shelly's, the creater of Only The Good Friday, and see what else is good.

Sweet Charity

I’d like to take the opportunity today to say Thank YOU.

As you, my dear readers, already know, this past Saturday I did the March of Dimes – March for Babies. A 3 mile walk to raise money for the March of Dimes, which does wonderful things in the area of medicine and research to end premature births, and other medical issues for babies.

I set a fundraising goal for myself of $150, and I’ll be honest, I didn’t really think I’d reach it. I know how tough times are right now, and asking people to donate money, even when it is for a great cause, is tough. Lucky for me (and for the babies), I’m pretty good at being a pest, and at begging.

I’m also lucky in the sense that the internet and social media have afforded me the opportunity to be visible in a lot of different areas. As I said in my recent post about internet friendships, I have “friends” all over the place, people I would not otherwise know.

I figured why not take advantage of these “friendships” of these mediums to try and get some donations? I put my blog, my facebook account, my twitter account and of course my email address book to work. I reached out to everyone I know, and people I don’t even know.

“It’s not for me, it’s for the babies” I said. I asked, I pleaded, I almost (but not quite) begged. And you know what? YOU gave.

The most amazing little things happened. The generosity of folks has always been something that touches my heart. No matter how tough times are, people step up when it counts. And I was counting on that to reach my goal. I was, therefore, not surprised when I not only reached it, but surpassed it (I raised $160 total).

What surprised me, however, were some of the sources my appeal reached.

Some of my friends reached out and gave, and for that, I’m grateful. Some of my blog readers also stepped up and donated, and again, for that I am extremely grateful. But it was the others, the ones I wasn’t counting on, that completely blew me away.

There was the random donor, who I’m still not entirely sure who he is. A Twitter follower? A blog reader? Someone I’ve never had an actual interaction with, but who somewhere saw my appeal, and donated. I’d like to thank him, but I honestly don’t know where to find him, so I hope either this blog post, or the many “thank you” tweets I’ve sent have reached him.

There was my one friend who I happen to know is in a tough financial position, who gave a small sum nonetheless. Even the small amount she gave is probably something she can’t afford to part with, but that’s just the sort of person she is.

There was my youth group, who donated the proceeds of their “share jar”, a jar we keep in our meetings that everyone throws spare change (or sometimes dollar bills and such) into at every meeting.

There was a former high school colleague, who I’ve friended on Facebook, but haven’t really spoken to in nearly 20 years.

Each and every donation touched my heart. They didn’t do it for me, they did it for the cause, and it touched my heart.

So, I thank you, each of you, not just for your generosity, but for confirming for me the belief that people are inherently good, giving, and caring. That’s a sweet, sweet thing, isn’t it?

Of course, if you couldn’t donate, I completely understand, and don’t think any less of you, as I said, I know times are tough for everyone. If, however, you’re sitting there thinking “Oh, I wish I’d known, I would have helped”. Fret not, my friends, I’m giving you another opportunity.

I’m doing another walk in a few weeks (May 17th to be exact) and I could really use your help! I’ll be doing a local Walk for CancerCare, in honor of my late Grandma “O”. As I said for the March for Babies, I’ll say here again, every little bit counts, so if you can give 50 cents or $50, I’ll take it.

You can click here to donate.

I thank you in advance, and I thank those of you who sponsored me for the March for Babies, once again.

Only The Good Friday - Bitter Sweet

I’m writing today’s post with a bit of a heavy heart because my dear blog friend Shelly, the mastermind behind “Only The Good Friday” is grieving the loss of her niece this week. Therefore, I need to start this week’s OTGF post by taking a moment to send out my prayers to Shelly and her family.

Even in the midst of her pain and sorrow, Shelly has written what I think is a beautiful, inspired and eloquent post, and I urge you to stop on over there and give her a virtual hug. Of course, knowing Shelly, she’ll just be annoyed that we’re making all this fuss over her, but that’s okay, sometimes, you need to be hugged against your will. I’m just saying!

It is, however, Friday, and what Shelly wants us to do on Fridays is write a POSITIVE post, spread the virus of optimism throughout the blogosphere. So, that is what I’m going to do.

I had a whole other post planned for today, but as I started writing this, it took a turn, and I’m just going to go with it.

As I posted yesterday, I’ve decided to join NaBloPoMo this month in their theme of “SWEET”. And as I started writing this post (which was SO going to go in a different direction), I realized that there are few things as sweet as friendships. How blessed are those of us who have a few good, trusted friends?

How much more blessed then are those of us who through the power of the internet, the blogosphere, twitter, facebook, whatever other form of technology you use, have this WIDE circle of friends we’d never otherwise have met?

I’ve told you before (a while back) that some of my best friends “are people I met on the internet”. (Go on, click that link, it’s an oldie, but a goodie!). And it is true. The sweetest thing is that this continues to happen. I am continuously meeting wonderful, amazing, fantastic human beings through this thing called a computer.

Some say that social networking, email, texting, etc. is creating a disconnected culture. People who don’t relate with other human beings and instead hide behind their computer screens, or cell phone keyboards, to keep human interaction at a safe distance. They say that our youth are not developing interpersonal skills and are lacking on an emotional connection with others.

This might be true in some cases. But as with everything else, I think we need to stop blaming the “media”, and start looking at the whole picture. Because I think it is all about how we use it. And I personally have seen some amazing friendships blossom on the internet. Daily, on Twitter, I see women supporting one another through tough times, I see friends pray for each other, I see a mountain of emotional support when someone is having a bad day.

There are “strangers” out there in the universe that I have not met face to face, that I truly consider my friends. People who I know honestly wish only good things for me, and pray with and for me when I’m down. Folks who celebrate my victories and are GENUINELY happy and thrilled for me when something good happens. Individuals who I care for so deeply, and am so emotionally involved with that I had to change the entirety of this post today, because I was so moved.

I will tell you without feeling an ounce of embarrassment that I cried when I read Shelly’s post about her niece. It broke my heart that my friend, who I have not met in person, was hurting so badly.

And as sad as this post may seem, I want you to know that I think it is a GOOD thing. This connection we have with otherwise “strangers” can only be good. And it is oh so sweet.

Please go visit Shelly and say hello. And check out all the other Only The Good Friday participants as well. We’re a “GOOD” bunch.

Only The Good Friday - What A Good Week

It is Only The Good Friday once again, and once again I have to thank Shelly for starting this fantastic meme. If you don’t know what OTGF is all about, go here to find out the details, but in a nutshell, on Friday, EVERY Friday, there are a handful of us in the blogosphere who post ONLY GOOD THINGS. We are on a mission to spread the optimism virus. The world has enough negative in it; on Fridays we only focus on the positive.

So, that being said, today, on this Friday, I must tell you something. I live a charmed life.

No, really, I do.

If you’ve been reading my blog for any period of time than you know I am not one to take my blessings for granted. I am often reminded of how truly blessed I am, and I cherish each moment for the gift that it is.

I am blessed with family, friends, a job, a home, faith, love, and a million other wonders in my life. I am not rich, I am not supermodel beautiful, I am not famous, a genius, a prodigy, extra talented at some specific thing, I am not extraordinary in any particular way.

I am just your average hard working, single thirty something woman. On the surface, there is nothing spectacular about my life.

And yet, daily, I realize just how truly fantastic my life is.

On their own, none of the events of my life are particularly momentous, but when you pile them all together, when you take note of each and every one of them? Damn, I really do live a charmed life.

I’ll give you this week, simply this week, as an example.

I started my Sunday simply enough, cleaning my house, windows open due to the gorgeous weather outside, listening to music, enjoying the Spring feeling in the air. I took a break to go have lunch with my parents, my grandfather, my brother and his new girlfriend. We had a lovely afternoon just sitting, eating and chatting. Blessings.

On Monday I took the day off work and spent it with a handful of my closest friends in Boston watching the Boston marathon. One of my very best friends “The Disciple” was running, and we were there to support her. Standing on the sidelines all day with my friends, watching all 20 something thousand of these amazing folks run by, with their inspirational messages and pictures on their t-shirts, struggling, but persevering at the bottom of HeartBreak hill, was amazing. Then being able to run out to our friend and run down the hill with her (for a mere 30 seconds) as she continued on to the finish line? BLESSING.

That's me in the unibomber outfit (shut up, it was cold), The Disciple, our other friend Lil' Sis, and The Disciple's friend M who also ran the marathon.

Tuesday I went to work, and just when I was thinking a quiet Tuesday night at home was in order, my buddy “Chick Flick” called to ask if I was up for our weekly movie night, which I’d forgotten all about. A night out with a friend, watching a silly movie (17 Again, review to come), another small blessing.

On Wednesday I again headed to work, ready for a regular day on the job. My cell phone rang early that morning with a question from my friend “DD”. “Can you take the afternoon off work?” It appeared she had scored some killer seats to that afternoon’s Red Sox game. Because I have the best boss in the world, I knew I could, in fact, take off for the afternoon, so I said “YES”. My boss, of course, said “GO, have a great time”. So I worked only a few hours, but was at work long enough to receive a bouquet my boss had delivered for me for Administrative Professional’s Day. BLESSED.

But, back to the game for a moment. My friend Traveler and I joke that we only do things “VIP” status. That’s just how “we roll”, we kid. No second class status for us, we get the best because we expect and we deserve the best. We JOKE. But we also live it. Time and again, we find ourselves in these VIP situations (together or apart) and the joke continues, because folks, that’s how we do it. Go big, or go home, right?

At the game? VIP status all the way. Our tickets, which were handed over for free, mind you, were so ridiculously close to the field, we were practically on it. How close? This close.

Big Pappi himself!

The game was amazing, the Sox won 10-1, and “DD” and I got to spend some much needed quality friend time. BLESSED.

Even yesterday, as I spent the day at work, focusing on being extra productive to make up for the time away from the office, I could still count my blessings. In the afternoon I found myself inexplicably sad. I couldn’t pin point or explain where it came from, but a wave of melancholy filled me and stayed with me most of the day. I get hit with these moods from time to time, and I’ve learned to just let them ride out, they pass soon enough. And in the meantime, I take advantage, because it is in these moments of melancholy that my muse makes its appearance known. Yesterday? I wrote this blog post. (so, in a confusing way, I’m actually writing it right now, in the middle of that moroseness, but you’re reading it on Friday, when I’m sure to already have been past it and in a much better mood)…confused? Laugh with me, it’s okay.

But you see, this is my point…small events, little things that on their own just appear to be the average happenings in an average life. Nothing particularly earth shattering. And yet, what a charmed life I lead. How blessed am I?

These are GOOD things. Perfect to reflect on on this Only The Good Friday, don’t you think?

Count your blessings. Every day, count them, and hey, on Fridays? Why not join us and post about them. Go visit Shelly to see what's good in her world, and to see who else is spreading the optimism.

PS: If I can quickly point you to my sidebar and ask that if you can, you donate and sponsor me in my March for Babies? Thank you if you can!

Happy Birthday To Me - But it's all about you.

I am 34 years old today. Hold on, let me let that one sink in for a moment…

wait for it…

wait for it…

DAMN…34!

Well then.

And you know what? I’m good. I’m perfectly fine with turning 34. In fact, I’m feeling pretty damn good about 34 right now.

Truth be told, I don’t feel a day over 24. Okay, fine, maybe 25. But to be honest, I feel and look better right now then I have in at least 6 years, so why should I be bummed about 34? I’m having the time of my life.

At 34 I sit before you a single, professional, intelligent, and sexy woman. I have my own home, a great job, the most amazing friends, and an incredible family. I’m in the best shape of my life, and spiritually, in a better place than I have ever been. And I might even have a new love interest (oh, more on that tomorrow).

How could I not, therefore, be thrilled about starting my 34th year on this planet? Of course I am, life is good and full of blessings.

It is those blessings I want to address in this post, because there are many, and I feel there is no better time than my birthday to acknowledge them.

So, consider this my formal thank you letter to the universe for the first 34 years of my life, as I prepare to take on the next 34 and more.

Not to sound like a rap artist at an awards ceremony, but first, to God. For all he has given me, and for the gifts, the simple pleasures, the people, the places, the moments. As I have grown in my faith this past year, my life has transformed in ways that I don’t have words to express, and for that, I am grateful beyond words.

To my family. My mother, who is and has always been, my best friend. I feel like I’m repeating myself, but there are no words to express how much I love you and appreciate you. My dad, the hardest working man I know, the sweetest, kindest man I know. We went through a lot in my adolescence, but now, as an adult, I have only admiration, respect and love for you. I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have you as my daddy. Lil’ Bro, you were my favorite “toy” growing up. I loved to carry you around, and when you were older, take you places with me and show you off to my friends. In all your years on this planet, I can’t remember one single fight we ever had. We don’t always agree on everything, but we’ve always respected one another, and had this unbreakable bond. Now you are a man, and I’m proud to call you my brother.

My grandfather, who I love dearly and who has always been one of my strongest supporters, always proud of whatever I decided to take on in life, and always ALWAYS there when I really needed him.

My uncle, the Warrior, who took his time with me, but knew just when to bring me back to my faith. I’ll be eternally grateful to you for this.

My cousin M&M, girl, I love you and admire you, and appreciate you and am so glad that as adults we’ve become the best of friends, you are my rock at times, and I’m blessed to know you.

My cousin PM, not even distance could dull our friendship. We have the history, the fun times and the tough times and I love you and the rest of your crazy clan out there in Cali.

The rest of my family should not feel neglected if I didn’t mention them by name, I love them all CRAZILY.

My friends, my other family. As a single girl, with no husband, no kids, it is in my friends that I have found my family. There are so many of you I’d be here all day if I named you all individually, so I’m not going to. But I will say that collectively, and individually, you all make my life worth living. Each and every one of you (and you all know exactly who you are), bring elements to my life which help to make me a whole person. I’d be incomplete if I didn’t know you.

Which brings me to my on-line friends. Those I’ve met in person, those I have not, those I speak to daily, those I only speak to once or twice a month. The bloggers, the Twitterers, the ones on Facebook and Yahoo and who knows where else on the interwebs…I learn from you, I laugh with you, I pray with you, and sometimes I even cry with you. I carry you in my pocket (literally, in my handy dandy blackberry) each and every day, and I genuinely care about your lives, and know you care about mine. I’m glad I “know” you.

Those are the people. There are so many other blessings I am truly grateful for, but as I turn another year older, I am learning that it is definitely, without a doubt, about the people you surround yourself with. And I? I have the best in my corner.

So, this is for you, on my birthday, I want to thank you.

Happy Birthday to me…because of you.

Only The Good Friday #2 - My Girls

IT'S FRIDAY!!!

Know what that means? It means its time to post only good things. I joined Shelly last week when she decided to spread a "GOOD" virus for a change, in the midst of all the negativity we are constantly bombarded with, and I'm ready to do it again.

So, what good do I have to share with you today? Well, today's post is all about my girls. Or your girls, maybe...it's about the girls anyway.

I could do something silly, and tell you that by "girls" I mean breasts, and the fact that a study has come out that if a woman drinks more than 3 cups of coffee a day, her breasts will shrink. See, this may not be a good thing for some women, but for someone like me? GOOD NEWS! I'll tell you what else too...since I've been on Jenny, I've started drinking a whole lot more coffee, and the girls? Yes siree, they are a shrinkin'. And I'm lovin' it. BRING ON THE COFFEE, I say!

But that's not the girls I was thinking of when I started this post.

What girls then, you ask?

I want to talk about girlfriends.

I don’t mean the romantic buying flowers, falling in love, wanting to get married kind of girlfriends.

I mean girl friends.

The women in our lives who make each day just a little bit brighter by being a part of it.

The ones we have fun with, the ones we cry with, the ones we laugh with, the ones we might even fight with now and then.

Our shopping buddies, our travel buddies, our pseudo therapists and motivators.

The shoulders we cry on, the mirrors we use to reflect our own faults off of, the understanding smiles and the forgiving embraces.

The phone calls at 3 in the morning, the late night conversations over martinis, the crack of dawn trips to early bird sales.

The hand holding in a doctor’s office, the slight push toward the man we’re eyeing, the holding back from the punch we wanted to throw.

The perfect meal at the end of a long day, the “let’s go for a walk” when you need it most, the thoughtful email at just the right moment.

The prayers, even when they don’t know what they’re praying for, the inspiration they provide just by being, the lessons they’ve taught you without even trying.

The giggles, the unspoken language, the knowing looks, the mischievous grins.

The history you share, the present you enjoy, the future you’ll experience.

The incriminating photographs, the blackmail stories, the nostalgia, the songs that only you know the alternate words to.

The life lessons, the heartbreaks, the “first times”, the milestones.

The jealousies, the bitterness, the drifting apart.

The cheerleading, the support, the unbridled happiness at each other’s successes.

The ones who’ve come and gone, but left an imprint never to be forgotten.

The ones who’ve always been, will always be, no matter what.

The ones you’ve yet to meet, who’ll make their mark, do their part.

The young, the old, the in between.

The shy, the bold, the beauty queens.

The ones you loved, the ones you liked, the ones you merely tolerated.

The ones you led, those who walked by your side, and those you emulated.

Your sisters, your mothers, your cousins, your soulmates.

Your pen pals, your email buddies, your high school friends.

The ones who lived next door to you, the ones who live across the world.

The ones you’ve known all of your life, the ones you’ve never met face to face.

THOSE girls. Let’s talk about girlfriends. Because without them, there would be no you. There would be no me.

That's my good for this Friday. Want to participate? Head on over to Shelly's and join in. Or just share here in comments some good thoughts for this Friday!

We're getting deep here

Disclaimer: I’m going to be honest here, because, you know what? This is my blog, my little piece of the interwebs, and if I can’t be honest here, then what’s the point?

Here's the thing, there are certain topics I very rarely ever blog about, because I know they can open the door to some strong feelings, and since this blog is my "safe place", I like to keep it peaceful. But, looking at it from another perspective, this is my safe place, so I can and should be able to talk about whatever it is that matters to me. And this...matters to me.

What is this I speak of? Well, we're getting into the deep waters of some amazing things that have happened in my life recently.

Most of these things you all already know about, I lost my job, switched careers completely, have re-connected with some old friends, and built some strong foundations with new ones. But the biggest change I’ve only alluded to in passing, and the thing is? It deserves more than just a passing reference.

So here it is.

I know I’ve mentioned before that I consider myself to be an extremely spiritual person, but that it pretty much stopped there, because I was very conflicted when it came to an actual “organized” religion. The reality is that in general I tend to have issues with most “conventional” things in society, because I always land square outside of that line of “normal”. So, it should come as no surprise that I would have my disagreements with religion.

That has not necessarily changed.

I’m a single woman in my 30’s, strong, independent, and confident in my status. I am a feminist. Not in the sense of the word that brings up thoughts of man hating and bra burning (trust me, nobody, but nobody wants to see me leave my house without a bra on); but in the “a woman has as much right as a man to: fill-in-the-blank” sense. I am a liberal for the most part, with very few conservative beliefs. I believe very strongly in the value of family, but also believe that conventional family values are outdated and traditional families are now few and far between, therefore I have no issue with loving families that don’t fit the “mold”. I support a woman’s right to have a right to choose…whether or not I agree with her choice making it none of my business. I also believe a lot of other things that may not entirely mesh with what everyone expects from someone who is about to say the following four words: I am a Christian.

Now, I’ll tell you what, it has taken me a long time to be able to say those words and not flinch. For whatever reason, we are conditioned to be proud to speak out about all the things we are and are not, except when it comes to our faith. On that topic, we know to be silent. Especially if we are Christian, and even more so if we happen to be “gasp” Catholic. And the truth is that until recently, I wasn’t particularly comfortable with my own faith to “own up” to it.

I knew what I believed, and that was simply good enough for me.

So what changed? Well…everything…and… nothing. It was a chain of events, kicked off by Candid Brother attending a retreat and finding his own way with faith, and then pushed along by my uncle, the “Spiritual Director”, inviting me to participate in a class of sorts, and fortified by the renewal of friendships, and the making of new friends, whose faith and love opened my eyes and heart to something I didn’t even really know I was missing. Then I volunteered to help out on a youth retreat, which spurred the youth outreach program my friends and I have taken charge of, and well…it all took on a life of its own.

The thing is, in terms of my feelings about organized religion, not too much has changed. I still have my issues, my doubts, my inability to just blindly accept. But the change that took place is this…I realized that just because I don’t believe in organized religion, that does not mean I don’t believe in the basic principles of the religion. My method of prayer for years has been at best abstract, at worst confused. I knew I believed in something, but because I was constantly battling within myself about how I disagreed with the man-made rules of the church and the outdated dictates and screwed up politics within the “organization”, I couldn’t allow myself to be specific about what it was that I believed in.

Thanks to a combination of things, including my incredible new friend The Disciple, in the last several months I’ve been able to take a step back from all those internal arguments and just be. When I stopped letting my brain do all my talking, thinking, rationalizing for me, I realized something huge. I have really strong beliefs, and they needed to be tended to.

So, that’s what I’ve been doing. By simply just being, I’ve had the most amazing year. Everything has changed.

I’ve changed. I’m so much more at peace with myself, with everything around me. I’m also a lot more emotional, but I think that is because I see things so much more clearly now, that sometimes the emotional impact blows me away. When I was laid off from my job, instead of completely freaking out and falling into a deep depression (as I think many suspected would have happened to me), I simply took a breath and said “It’ll work out, I’m putting it in God’s hands”. And then I landed this amazing job, which has changed everything else in my life in such a positive way.

My friendships have changed, I’ve reconnected with some amazing folks from my past, and because of how at peace I am, I’ve strengthened my existing friendships, and even made new amazing friends. There has been one friendship that hasn’t fared as well, but I still have hopes of turning that one around. My constant positive state doesn’t seem to be sitting too well with a friend who is constantly negative recently, but hopefully we can get past it and come out all the better for it.

My priorities have changed. Volunteering with the teens has taken up just about all my free time this summer, I’m constantly exhausted, and don’t seem to have a whole lot of “me” time. I haven’t even gone shopping all that much lately (gasp). But you know what? I’m ridiculously happy. I love these kids, and spending time with them makes me feel younger and more energized. And they are such fantastic kids that they are giving me hope for this messed up world we live in. If the world is in their hands, then I know it’ll be okay. And this group has also given me an opportunity to re-connect with Lil’ K, which has been an amazing blessing, because due to her age, we were beginning to drift apart a little bit.

And my relationship with God has changed. This one is hard to put into words, but the best way I can describe it is this…for years God has been that elusive, unexplainable force, that I knew I believed in, but didn’t quite understand, and didn’t really have the guts to dig deep enough to try. Now…now he’s everything, the center of my everything. But with this refreshing realization that I don’t need to stop being the person I am for this relationship to be what it is. I can still obsess about shoes, enjoy chocolate martinis, and gossip with my girlfriends about how HOT Donnie Wahlberg is. (Yes he is, shut up). I don’t need to wear a high necked shirts, or stop swearing when I’m angry (not that I'm saying I should be doing it anyway). I don’t need to be “perfect” or “boring” to carry his message, and to believe it with all my heart.

What I’ve loved the most is that this group of misfits I call my friends all come in all shapes in sizes. We come with piercings, tattoos, emotional baggage and moments of road rage. We come with partying hard, drinking too much (definitely not talking about my old self here), not always going to church on Sunday. But WE COME. We show up and we believe.

Knowing that I can still be me, has also made it so much easier to not be ashamed to be honest about my faith. From wearing a t-shirt that has a religious message (yet oh so witty we are in our message), to openly having a conversation with Friendly (who is part of my group of friends) at work, about our activities, I no longer whisper my faith. I’m not shoving it down anyone’s throats…I know how long it took me to get to this point, and I know had anyone tried to force feed me, I would have run in the opposite direction. But I am just not hiding it either.

And then there’s this post. I think it takes an incredible amount of courage to be this open about faith in a public forum. I’m risking a lot. But I didn’t really have a choice…this post has been battling its way onto the page for months now. Just screaming to be let out. And after all, the name of this blog is Candid Karina. I’m being Candid. And I have faith that you’ll be okay with that.

Soul Sisters

Last week I gave you the story of The Soulmate. In that post, I mentioned that I believe we all have more than one, and that it doesn’t even have to necessarily be a romantic thing. But I didn’t elaborate. Today, I want to do just that.

See, here’s the thing, throughout my life I have had the opportunity to have all different types of relationships: family, friends, boyfriends, acquaintances and even enemies. And I do believe that every single one of these individuals (even the ones who made my life a living nightmare at times) came into my life for a very specific reason. I’ve always been a firm believer in the “everything happens for a reason” way of thinking, so it’s easy for me to accept these relationships for what they are…meant to be.

But through my life, there have been a select few kindred spirits for which I am and always will be eternally grateful. I am not talking here about those who matter most to me (my parents, my brother, etc.), I am speaking of individuals who have touched a part of my soul in a very specific, very intimate, very unique way. These people have left a lasting imprint that shapes the very core of who I am. Soul is, of course, one of these people. But there have been others. Most of these others have been women and girls...my soul sisters.

Among them, a little girl named Michaela, who became my bff my very first day of elementary school, and made me feel better about being away from mom for the very first time ever. See, as a child I had a serious case of separation anxiety. Seriously, my parents would go out to the movies and leave me with my grandma, who I loved dearly, and I would cry the entire time they were gone. So, when I started school, my first day was torture. I cried the whole day. And Michaela came to sit next to me and tell me it would be okay. I don’t remember much about that day (after all, I was what? Five years old?) but I actually have a very vivid memory of her coming to sit next to me, and somehow making me feel better. For whatever reason, the memory of that day is imprinted in my mind, and her presence in my life, which would last another five years, until I left Portugal, changed my very make-up. I, the little girl who couldn’t stand to be away from home, now relish being on my own, meeting new people, and experiencing new things. I believe she played a vital role in shaping that part of me, and I wonder what she’s doing now.

There have been others, with smaller impacts, but just as vital, throughout the years. And then there’s Lil’ K. When I met this shy, apprehensive 8 year old girl, I fell madly, deeply in love instantly. She was so scared of the big wide world, and yet, she took to me immediately. Grasping my hand tightly, she allowed me to lead her around our weekly visits to the mall, the movies, out to dinner. She instantly became a constant part of my life, and we fit together as only kindred spirits can. All these years later, I love her as if she were my own, and our bond is as strong as ever. We were meant to be and there is a connection that can only be explained…well, it can’t, to be honest, it just is. We are family, biology be damned.

And then, quite recently, I’ve been blessed to find another kindred soul in The Disciple. To be fair, I think the vibe The Disciple gives off, by her very nature, creates that feeling of kinship with just about anyone. She is just that person, the one everyone is immediately drawn to in a crowd. When she speaks, whether it be about her love of running, or about her faith, or about something as trivial as a pair of shoes, you can’t help but listen. Her energy is infectious, addictive, and awe inspiring. Those of us who know her personally, have no doubt how blessed we are. And for me personally, I just feel that unexplainable connection. We are alike in so many ways that it would be impossible for us to not be friends. Although younger than me, she has a way of bringing out in me my best qualities, and making me want to be a better person. But she also mirrors all the things I already do love about myself. I see them in her, and know I possess them too, know that is why we are so close, and realize there are no limits to what I can do, who I can be. But it’s not all about the seriousness. We can also be completely goofy and girly, and silly, and in those things too we have a lot in common. When recently complementing each other’s shoes, we realized we were wearing the same designer…you can only imagine the jubilance that followed that discovery for two self-professed shoe lovers. In some things, I view her as a younger version of myself. In others, she’s wise beyond even my years. But she’s my Soul Sister in every sense of the word, and once again, another individual placed in my life for a purpose.

I am blessed presently to be surrounded by an amazing group in my faith family. Along with The Disciple, I’ve got a whole slew of potential “soulmates”, of all ages, some members of my biological family, others I have known since I was a teenager, still others I’m just meeting for the first time. And then there are the teens themselves. A fantastic group of characters, each with their own gifts to offer the world and within that group, I’ve found Duckling. A 15 year old girl who again reminded me of a younger me, and has touched my heart in unexplainable ways. Every time I see her smiling face, I realize how real my connections are in this world, I am reminded how vital it is to each of us to reach out and love, without fear, without expectations, without doubt. Duckling, along with Lil' K, touches the part of me that has not yet had the chance to become a mother. These young girls bring out my maternal side, and allow me to not only give of myself, but to receive an incredible amount in return. So, in this, Duckling is yet another, younger Soul Sister.

The blessings keep coming, and with each of these individuals, I grow. So, yes, I do believe everyone has a soul mate. I believe we have many, and are blessed each and every time we come across one of them. I do still hope one day I’ll meet that one who will be all things to me…friend, lover, confidant and soul mate. But until he comes along, I’m not holding back, there’s a lot of soul to go around yet.

Thursday Thirteen #57 - A Little Bit of Nascar

I haven't done a Thursday Thirteen in a bit, but then again, I haven't done a whole lot of blogging lately either. But I wanted to participate this week, and share some of my adventure at Nascar this past weekend. So, here are 13 things I learned at Nascar:

1. Having connections (or friends who have connections) ROCKS. My friend Traveller managed to get us not only Pit Passes, but also Suite Passes for the races thist past weekend in New Hampshire.

Yeah, we sat in the same suite as the guy who runs all of Nascar (or so Traveller told me, I wouldn't know him from Adam, she's the Nascar fan).

2. Hanging out in the Garage/Pit area, getting up close and personal with the drivers and the pit crews? That was so much fun.

3. Let's talk about the pit crews for a minute shall we? HOLY EYE CANDY. Ladies, forget the drivers, it's the crew guys that are delicious to look at.

4. Moving on to the actual racing...I had no idea it could actually be that much fun to watch a bunch of cars go round and round in a circle. Who knew? Turns out there's a whole lot more to it than just racing around in a circle, and it's those little intricacies that make it such a fun sport to watch.

5. Who knew also how freakin' loud it would be? I mean, I was forewarned, but it was still louder than I thought it would be.

6. And do you have any idea how hard it is to photograph a car going 180 mph?

Not quite...
Almost... AHA! Gotcha!

7. Race cars are REALLY low to the ground...which makes getting in and out of the cars pretty hard. But oh so fun!8. I'd never really watched a race before this, so I'd never really understood the significance of the phrase "quick pit stop". When they say "quick"...they're not kidding around. It takes them all of 8 seconds to change four tires, gas up the car and perform whatever other necessary "fix us" may need to be done.
Even more props to those hot crew guys.

9. Speaking of hot guys...David Stremme:

Kinda hot, don't'cha think?

10. Also hot? Clint Bowyer, who never met a good pose he didn't like:

11. I learned that you must wear comfortable shoes when you go to a Nascar event, especially if you've got pit passes, because you will do A LOT of walking around. We saw every square inch of that place, I'll tell you! But it was great fun.

12. Nascar fans don't mess around. Talk about a wide variety of fan...we're not just cheering for two teams here, so you get all walks of life, all different support teams in the stands. With their wagons and coolers full of beer, and they're trailers and grills and bbq pits, these are some real fans. And if they don't like you (Kyle Busch), they'll let you know, loud and clear.

13. Traveller and I? We are total Rock Stars. This:

The view from our VIP Suite...free tickets, free food, free alcohol...what a fantastic time we had. And you know what? On Sunday, while at home recovering from my wild weekend...I watched the race on television...I think Nascar has gained a fan.

Thanks for stopping in!

And I know I owe some posts, some memes, a story about bacon lollipops and so much more...they're in the works, I promise. In the meantime, I've got Fun Monday, the Bachelorette, The Two Coreys and So You Think You Can Dance to tide you over...

Beautiful Women

Something miraculous is happening in my life lately, and I find myself in such a good place. The only negative to this is that I find myself with a serious case of writer's block.

This is not the first time something like this has happened to me. I've said before that sometimes a writer needs misery and sadness in order to be able to write. For years I was happy with my life and couldn't write a word...no poetry, no fiction, no nothing. Because of blogging, I was able to break through that block, and begin writing again. But lately, I've got nothing.

Last night, as I sat and watched the Boston Celtics kick some serious L.A. Laker butt, I stared at my computer screen for hours. I sat there and stared, but could think of nothing to write. NOT A THING.

The thing is, I have so much to tell you. But I just can't seem to make the words come together to make sense of it all.

And at the end of the night, I wind up with a blank post, and I give up. Call it a night, say "maybe I'll write it tomorrow".

So, I took a different aproach last night. I decided that I would just show you a photo. A photo of two beautiful women who have changed my life in recent months with their friendship, and their faith. The first I've talked about before, my cousin M&M, who is someone with an incredible amount of faith, and an even greater sense of love. Love for everyone and everything around her. The second "the Disciple" you haven't met, but I really need to tell you about her. In the short time that I've known her, she's opened my eyes to so much, she's changed my view of the world around me. And she's done it all without trying, just by being who she is. We should all be so blessed to have two ladies such as these in our lives. And to top it off, they are my friends, girls who know how to have a good time, laugh at themselves, and appreciate the finer things in life. My girls...and I:

I swear, the sarcastic, cranky, wise-ass Karina is still around, she's just feeling mellow lately.

But stay tuned because I have a bacon lollipop (yep, you read that right) that I still need to try, and I'll be blogging all about that soon.

Now, go on and wear your green proudly today, because it's Celtics Day in Boston!

Trip to NYC and Meeting the Blog Queen

As most of you know, I spent this past weekend in New York. My good friend Mrs. B, who I met via the internet about 7 years ago, lives in Queens, and we try to visit each other a few times a year. This trip spawned out of an idea of Mrs. B, that we should camp out and wait for the New Kids On The Block to perform on the Today Show this past Friday. However, as time drew nearer, Mrs. B realized she wouldn't be able take the day off work, and realized that by myself, it would be no fun to camp out. Still, the idea for the trip was in motion, and I'm not currentl working, so I decided what the heck, a trip to New York would do me good.

In the meantime, one of my favorite bloggers ever happen to live right in NYC, so I figured it would be a good opportunity to meet up with her for lunch. So, the trip was on.

I arrived in New York on Thursday evening via GreyHound bus, and Mrs. B met me in Manhattan, where we had a fantastic dinner at an Ethiopian diner. I'd never had Ethiopian food, so I was excited to experiment. I'm happy to tell you that the food was fabulous, but even more fabulous was the Ethiopian Honey Wine we ordered. Mrs. B and I polished off an entire bottle during dinner. YUM.

Friday Morning I decided to head back into Manhattan, but decided against going in super early for the NKOTB concert. The evening before I'd learned that people were already camping out (in the rain no less), and I just knew I wouldn't get anywhere near the concert, so I decided against it. By the time I made it into the city, the show was over, and there were still hundreds of crazy New Kids fans fleeting around. Just walking around a bit and seeing the barricades, the cops, the blocked off doors, etc., I knew I'd made the right call not going in early, I wouldn't have made it anywhere near the show.

Still, I hung out with the crazy fans for a bit, reminiscing about the old days, and in the process, got to see American Idol winner Taylor Hicks as he walked past us and into the Today Show building. Hmm...Taylor Hicks v. Donnie Wahlberg? Okay, not much of consolation prize there. Anyway, I will say this, the camera really does add 10 pounds, at least. Because Taylor Hicks looked much better in person than on the show, bits of which I caught on my Tivo.

As for the New Kids? This is about as close as I got to them:


Ah well, there's always the concert in September.

So, I did a bit of sightseeing, and then it was time to meet up with my blog buddy Frances. Frances, she of a thousand blogs. Okay, not exactly a thousand, but even she doesn't know how many she has, so don't ask me! ;-) Frances, the fearless leader of SheWhoBlogs. Frances has been on of my favorite bloggers since the first time I stumbled upon one of her blogs, so I was certainly excited to finally meet her in person.

Because I was drifting around Times Square, and it was pouring rain out, we met at Applebee's for lunch. Not one of Frances' usual "off the beaten path" haunts, but we've already agreed that in my next trip out, we'll hit that path instead.

I arrived at the restaurant, and we immediately knew each other. From the moment I sat down, it was nonstop conversation, laughter and fun. We got along as fabulouslyas I knew we would have. Two mochatinis and about 3 1/2 hours later we had gone from being blog buddies, to being friends.

I could tell you all the silly things we chatted about, but really, it was 3 1/2 hours of non-stop chatter, and I have to run out in a few minutes. I can, however, tell you we had an absolute blast.

I could show you photos of our meeting, but if you visit any of Frances' blogs you will see that she does not post photos of herself, so I respect that privacy, so there will be no photos of us. However, I do have a photo for you.

See, we had the FUNNEST waiter. His name was Ike, but his coworkers call him "Ikeypoo". And he wears that name proudly on his nametag. You've got to love it, right? Ikeypoo was a fantastic waiter, lots of fun, and we just loved him. And he was kind enough to pose for a photo:


Frances got a close-up of the nametag, so I'm sure she'll share that one with you on one of her blogs. I'm sure there is more I could tell you about my meeting with Frances, but it all escapes me now. I can't wait until the next time I'm in NY and we get to hang out again.

Frances, I had a blast, you are absolutely fantastic!

Isn't the blogosphere wonderful?

It's All About Choices

Today, I want to talk to you about Attitude. About the choices we make each day about how we will face the world. I think that decision is probably the most telling piece of our personality. Don't you? This is going to be a long post, because I'm a blabber mouth...so grab a cup of coffee or tea, or whatever...then tell me what you think.

Here's where I'm coming from with all of this. You all know I was laid off on Friday, and it certainly came as a shock that's still reverberating in a new way each day. I've got some challenges ahead of me for sure, and I don't doubt things will get harder before they get easier. I'm hiding behind a curtain of denial, but it is a sheer curtain, I'm aware of what's on the other side, I just don't want to look at with a clear view.

I've decided to face this misfortune with a bit of humor, a lot of positive energy, and the occasional martini. And yes, some of it is false, but it is in that faux-happiness that I manage to get out of bed in the morning and function enough to plan my next step. It is a very thin line between reality and depression and panic, and I am walking that line daily. So, if I choose to focus only on the positive, and make light of the situation, that's what it takes to keep me on the right side of the line.

My friends, and that statement most definitely includes those of you reading this, because you have shown me an incredible amount of support and friendship through this, have for the most part stayed on that side of the line with me. I've received positive reinforcement at every turn. "You will find an even better job", "Someone like you will be hired before you know it", "This is a blessing in disguise", etc. etc. I've also received offers for assistance, virtual and real hugs, and proposals for the different types of martinis I should be sampling at this time.

And have no doubt that each and every one of those messages has gone straight to my heart, and filled it, and helped to keep me on that tight rope I'm walking.

I've chosen to tackle this head on, but with a bit of perhaps unrealistic optimism. Yes, the job market sucks, but until the moment I absolutely have to panic, I refuse to.

It's all about choices, and I choose to think of the best case scenario. And most people seem to get this, and not only support me in it, but even be a bit impressed by my response. I'm handling it well, I'm told. I don't know, but I'm handling it the only way I know how.

And yet, I've been taken aback by the response of one individual in my life. A person who I consider an extremely close friend, and who during this time has repeatedly taken a fatalistic attitude about my situation. From the moment I told her, I was faced with negativity. She has said everything from "The job market sucks, you'll have a really hard time finding a job" to "You can't live off unemployment and can't afford health insurance and won't be able to do it". Yesterday she informed me that when she recently was looking for a job, she sent out over 40 resumes and only received one call back. (Mind you she found a job in the matter of a week or two, so I'm not really sure how that adds up).

I'm sure she doesn't mean to...well...I'm not really sure what she "means" to do, but that attitude is certainly not going to help me any. I realize that it is a friend's job to offer up reality in small doses. I'm okay with that, I don't need friends who only paint me pretty pictures and tell me everything will always be alright. But there's a huge difference between small doses of reality, and smacking me in the face with an end of the world scenario. Not helpful. Not welcome. Not necessary. I'm highly capable of building my own destruction up in my mind. Trust me, all those negative thoughts? They've been at the back of my mind since the moment I learned my fate. But I've done a good job at keeping them at bay, and would like to continue to do so as long as possible.

You telling me I'm going to be destitute and lose my house (in so many words) is NOT going to help me any.

A long time ago I had a "woe is me" friend. You know that friend. The one who gets a headache and immediately thinks she'll die. The one who can turn a flat tire into the worst disaster to ever happen to any one person in this millenium. She drained me daily. Negativity, much like positivity, is highly contagious, and after a while, she sucked the energy right out of my life. I made a decision that I couldn't be friends with her any longer, and have since focused on surrounding myself with people who at least attempt a positive attitude on life. Life is much too short to spend your days surrounded by complaints and misery. I won't do it, and I'd hate for this to mark the end of another valued friendship.

I've decided to keep my "employment" (or lack thereof) discussions to a minimum with this individual. It is bothering me that at a time when she could step up and offer her friendship, she is incapable of doing so, but hopefully we can get past this. But still, its left a bad taste in my mouth. Am I wrong in expecting a different type of support from her?

What do you think?

Birthday Fun - With Photos

So, as most of you already know, yesterday was my birthday, and I've always been the sort of person who makes a bit of a fuss about my birthday. It was always a big deal growing up, and I've carried that through to my adulthood. Hey, we're only given one day a year that is all about us, and we spend the rest of the year working really hard to please others, so why shouldn't we celebrate ourselves? So, I do.

And this past weekend I had many opportunities to do just that, and to enjoy the company of some great friends in the process.

On Friday at work, my coworkers surprised me with birthday cake, a card, and a plant. Is it a sign that you are all grown up when you are genuinely giddy by receiving a plant?

The real fun started early on Saturday, when I headed to Mohegan Sun Casino to meet up with my friend Ms. B.. Since she lives in New York, the casino in Conneticut is a great half way point for us to meet. Don't know why we've never thought of it before, but I think it'll become a more regular meeting place for us. So, we met up, grabbed a quick bite to eat, and played a few penny slots. Immediately the day was off to a good start, as I won about $8 right off the bat. Let me take a moment here to explain to you what a feat this is, because you see, I-DON'T-EVER-WIN at gambling. EVER. No scratch ticket wins, no concert tickets on the radio wins, no slot machine wins, no raffles, no bingo...I don't win. So, hey, $8 up and I'm a happy camper. Of course, I kept playing and promptly lost it all again, but it was early yet, and it was only a $5 bill that I had started off with.

From there, Ms. B and I headed in to watch the show we had tickets for. It was a ballroom dance showcase featuring some of the world's champions in various styles of ballroom dance. The show was wonderful and we truly enjoyed it. I wish I had some photos to share with you, but photography was not allowed at the show. After the show we walked around some, avoided the Bon Jovi fans as much as we could (man, was I jealous), and did some more gambling on the penny slots, and a bit of Keno (where I won again...a whole dollar, but hey, still a win). Then we had dinner, and decided to hit the penny slots one last time before we left. Ladies and gents, it was then that I struck it rich. I won $94.23! On a penny slot machine, in one fell swoop! Needless to say, I cashed that baby out and called it a night.

Ms. B. and I then said our goodbyes and headed our own separate ways home. I came home to a wonderfully unexpected surprise from a fellow blogger, but I am actually going to leave that one to tell you all about tomorrow. It was such an amazingly kind and wonderful surprise that it is deserving of its very own post, so please do come back tomorrow so I can tell you all about it.

On Sunday I slept in quite late, and then woke up to the great surprise (read sarcasm here) of my internet being down. After much battling and effort, and the assistance of a wonderful customer service technician at Buffalo (the makers of my new internet router), I was back online...just in time for a date with my mother to go grocery shopping. After that errand, I had just enough time to run home, put away my groceries, and head out to dinner with my friend Shopaholic, and another mutual friend of ours. Shopaholic surprised me with a bag of goodies, including the plant on the right in the photo below (the plant on the left is the one my coworkers gave me). Yep, I'm all grown up, my plants are gifts I'm completely excited about.

Speaking of plants (or plant like things), since mom and dad had given me my birthday present back in January (this Sanseo coffee machine, which quickly became my favorite appliance), while out grocery shopping mom presented me with these:

Ain't they pretty?

Then yesterday mom and I took the day off work, and had planned a mother/daughter day to celebrate my birthday. As a wonderful surprise, my brother decided to join us on our outing to the zoo, and the three of us had a wonderful time walking around and checking out all the animals and their wild antics. I will have photos from the zoo posted here on Thursday, as well as a tale you won't believe...with video for proof. Trust me, you'll want to come back for that.

The celebrations ended with a family dinner at a local Japanese restaurant with mom, dad, grandpa and my brother.

I want to thank you all for your birthday wishes throughout the past few days, they have each and everyone of them been greatly apreciated. You have all brought a smile to my face, and made me feel loved.

I had a wonderful birthday, and am feeling great, even if I am a WHOLE YEAR older (or is it just another day older?) and back at work. Now I need to do some serious blog hopping, I practically missed Fun Monday and there's a party going on, you know?

Thursday Thirteen

A new year has dawned, and with the coming of a new year, it seems everyone has their hearts set on fresh starts, new beginnings, clean slates. I don't know what it is about a New Year that makes such a difference, after all, every day is a new day, an opportunity to make a fresh start. And yet, we can't help it, we get wrapped up in the mystic power of a brand new year laid out in front of us with all sorts of potential. I'm no different, I always begin the year with goals, plans and expectations; hope, joy and a fresh outlook.

But that's not so bad, is it? Everyone needs a fresh start now and again, so if we choose this turn in the calendar to recenter ourselves, refocus our minds and hearts, then let it be. There's no harm in taking that deep breath at the stroke of midnight and plunging in head first into the new year.

So here we are, 2008. A wide open canvas for all that it will be. Where this year will take me only time will tell, and I'll let it unfold on its own.

For now, however, I'd like to reflect a bit on this past holiday season. Christmas and New Year's Eve passed in a frenzy of food, family, fun and friends, and I've barely taken the time to share any of it with all of you. So I thought I would use this week's Thursday Thirteen to share some of what my holidays were like.

1. I'm not entirely sure why (though I have my suspicions) but to me, this Christmas was probably the best my family has had since my grandmother passed away seven years ago. There was a real sense of family, of love, of togetherness that we've tried to bring back through the years, but for some reason, it was present this year. No doubt my brother's recent experience had something to do with it, but it was more than that. I've refrained from delving too deeply into what it is that has transformed within my brother, because that is his to tell alone, but we'll just say that through a series of "everything happens for a reason" type of events, he's found a bit of himself that was lost a long time ago. And as fate would have it, quite a few members of our family are interconnected in how it all played out, and so we found ourselves this Christmas very grateful, and blessed.

2. I had a lovely time the Sunday before Christmas hanging out with my mother, my "little sister" Lil'K, and my brother (and his dog Diamond). We've made it a new tradition that Lil'K and I help mom with the baking of all the Christmas sweets she makes. Namely, Lil'K and I make one particular cake, while mom makes all the rest. This particular cake is quite "labor intensive", and Lil'K and I take great pleasure in our creation. Something went horribly wrong this year however, and the fact that the cake managed to not collapse in on itself was quite the accomplishment. The ordeal leading to the completion of this cake was rought with fits of giggles and horrified squeals. You sort of had to be there, but it made for a fun afternoon in mom's kitchen. So much so that when I dropped Lil'K off that night, she told me her cheeks hurt from laughing so much. There is no greater feeling.

3. My friend Traveler was "home" from Florida for a few weeks, and we were able to spend some quality time doing what we do best. Attending a Boston Bruins game, with free tickets in a VIP suite she scored through her various connections, sipping martinis while we gossiped about poor wardrobe choices of those surrounding us, and giggling like schoolgirls as we flirted shamelessly with men we had no intention of speaking to after we left that day. We spent another day shopping and basically wasting time while we enjoyed time together in a friendship that thankfully has not really suffered due to the long distance her move to Florida created. If anything, we've just become more creative in how to make our friendship work. Traveler is easily one of my closest friends, and distance hasn't dulled how easily we relate to each other.

4. My family celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve. We all gather at my mother's house for dinner, enjoy ridiculous amounts of food (and wine) while we chat about anything and everything. This year midnight came with hardly a notice from us, and all of us filed out and headed off to midnight mass. After mass we regathered at mom's for the annual "exchange of the gifts". The gift exchange in our family has always been a momentous occasion because we open all gifts one-by-one, so that everyone can see what everyone else has received. We also ALL give a gift to every person. We do this not because we have loads of money to spend (we do not), but because in our family, the act of giving is actually a lot more pleasureable than the receiving. You can see the thrill on everyone's faces as their gifts are opened and well received. None of us spend a lot of money, but all of us spend a lot of time thinking of just the right gift.

5. This year, I was particularly excited about several of my gifts, because I'd thrown in a personal touch to quite a few of them. Having discovered photography this year, and the fact that I might actually have an eye for the art, I put together quite a few "photo" gifts for people. Among them was a photograph of a sunset for my uncle, a collage of photos for my cousin M&M from a "foliage" trip we took with her daughter Braniac in the fall, and other elaborate collages I created for a few girlfriends with photos we took at several events through the year. The gift I was most excited to give, however, was the one I created for my brother. Several years ago my uncle created fabulous collages of photos for our family. They included pictures of our childhood, with our grandparents, parents, etc. At the time my brother was possibly too young to appreciate such a gift, so he received a remote control car, or something of the sort. I remember that he made a comment that he wouldn't have minded receiving a collage as well, but it wasn't a big deal. This year, however, I felt that he would trully appreciate a bit of his history in photographs, so I dug out old photos and new, and put a great collage together. I could hardly wait to give it to him. I believe he loved it as much as I had hoped he would.

6. I received many wonderful gifts, meaningful, fun, entertaining, and useful. I would list them all here, but I'm afraid I'd leave something out and offend someone, so we'll just say that I loved each and every gift I received, and was just glad to be thought of by everyone. I really did get some great gifts though! I'll probably mention some in my future posts as I use them.

7. By the time the "gift exchange" was complete it was nearly 4AM. I told you it was a momentous occasion, didn't I? We all gathered our wares, and headed for home.

8. Christmas day is a lazy day for our family. We get up late to recover from the previous evening, and spend the morning (ahem, early afternoon) playing with our gifts. I had a (very) late breakfast and surrounded myself with my booty. A late shower and I was off to join my family at a family friend's house, where a new tradition of Christmas lunch/dinner has been borne the last few years. More food, more wine, more conversation and laughs. I was home by 7PM and curled up on the couch in my pj's, in preparation of the return to work the next morning.

9. The Saturday before New Year's I had my annual Christmas Party at my house. Every year I host a few "girl's nights" at my place. It began with my annual Christmas Party the first year I owned the condo and has now blossomed into a few other's throughout the year, usually for my birthday, and this year, for Halloween as well. Because I am single, and have a fantastic group of female friends from various areas and times in my life, I've chosen to make these parties "ladies only" events. It gives me an opportunity to spend some time with my friends, and for them to get to know each other a bit. And since it's my party, I can be "single" if I want to, and not feel like the only one in the room without a partner. It works out well, I think, because I believe the girls enjoy a night off from family and significant others, to just be girls. We eat, we drink, we chat, we play games, and all sorts of hilarity ensues. This year was no different, we had a fabulous time. I might have had a bit too much to drink, but I'll never tell.

10. Making my party a bit more special this year was the fact that my cousin PM and her family had arrived from California earlier that day, and she was able to come to one of my parties for the first time since I've been hosting them. I miss PM tremendously, and always enjoy spending time with her, so it was a treat to have her there with my other friends. Her sister M&M and I have become extremely close over the last few years, so it was wonderful to have both of them there, now that we're all grown up.

11. The following day I was able to hang out with the rest of PM's family. Her husband, JM who I definitely consider a very good friend and her two little boys. Her oldest boy, who is four now, I am madly in love with, and miss terribly when they leave. Her youngest, who is seven months, I had yet to meet. Yes ladies and gents, I have fallen madly in love with him as well. Never will you meet a happier child. I got plenty of "baby time" in, and am really sad they don't live closer, because I swear I'd sign up for babysitting duties regularly (are you guys listening? MOVE BACK). sigh, worth a shot folks. That evening PM, JM and I went to the movies to watch I Am Legend. I'll save that movie review for a separate post, and you all already know about the text messaging/LawBoy fiasco, so I'll skip that as well.

12. New Year's Eve was spent at my aunt and uncles house, with my parents, my cousin M&M, her boyfriend, and Braniac. Again, family, food, wine, laughter, conversation and games. All the good things in life. We watched Dick Clark's countdown, and I was home and in bed by 2AM.

13. I took lots of pictures during these few weeks, but have not had a chance to upload them yet...I'll share them on here soon though. I can honestly tell you that I'm actually sad for the holidays to be over. There was a joyful, warm, loving light surrounding them this year, and I'm not quite ready to turn it off yet. My Christmas tree is still up, and I still turn the lights on every night when I get home. I'm thinking I might have to take the tree down this weekend, and I'm kind of sad about that. But I guess I'll have the pictures to remind me of the season and make me smile.

I hope you all had as wonderful a holiday season as I did. And here's to a fantastic 2008!

Where in the World is Candid Karina?

I'm off on a mini-vacation starting today after work, heading off for some rest, relaxation and a bit of fun.

My friend Traveler is home for the week. She moved to Florida for work earlier this year, and as she was my "martini" buddy, I've missed our martini nights. Nights that were as much about experimenting with new martini flavors as they were about girl time. Venting about each other's work days, gossiping about celebrities, scoping out the men in the room, girl time. Her move to Florida is supposed to be temporary, but of that only time will tell. In the meantime, I've missed our girl nights. So, this week, she's home. Here to celebrate her 30th birthday with her family and friends. And as one of her favorite places in the world is Lake Winnipesauke, we're heading off for a few days of girl time at the lake.

We take off tonight, as soon as I'm done with work. The overnight bag is packed, the pre-mixed martinis (good stuff) and the cooler are ready to go. We've got our gossip, our cameras and plenty of smiles for whatever members of the opposite sex we may happen upon. But mostly, we're just looking forward to catching up, relaxing, and having some girl time.

I won't be posting the next two days, this week there will be no Wordless Wednesday or Thursday Thirteen. The laptop is staying home. I haven't had a vacation all summer, so I'm leaving nearly all traces of technology behind (the cell phone will come with me, however). This is a short getaway, so I'll be home on Friday. Make sure to check back then for my new "Follow-Up Friday" feature, where I respond to all your comments. Hopefully I'll also have fun tales to tell of my time at the lake with Traveler.

LATER!!!

The Curse of the Hot Friend

In keeping with my resolution to get out of the house more, because people keep telling me Mr. Right is not just going to knock on my door one day (hey, it could happen), I’ve been trying to plan more “nights out” with friends. So, a week ago Saturday I made plans with my cousin M&M, her friend Red and my friend Shopaholic to hit the town. That sounds so fun and exciting, but truly, we’re all a bunch of old fogies at this point, and hitting the town just isn’t what it used to be. That said, we met at my house for a few drinks and some conversation around 9PM, and then headed into Boston to a local bar/sports complex/billiards place. It was a girls’ night out, with no real plans or expectations except to have a good time. All four of us were in a great mood, and the liquor was flowing freely enough that some of us (ahem, M&M) were feeling pretty good.

A little background info: Red is married, Shopaholic is in a relationship of sorts, and M&M also has a boyfriend she is very happy with. Any flirtation on any of their parts (ahem, M&M) is purely of the innocent, “I’m just having fun” kind. Also, let it be known that I love M&M, not only is she my cousin, but in the past few years she has become one of my closest friends. She is a wonderful person, and I’m glad that as adults, we’ve grown to be so close. I tell you this because I’m about to reveal some deep seated issues here. (not really).

M&M is of the tall, skinny, and gorgeous variety. She is THAT girl, the one that all the guys flock to. When you go out with M&M, you are immediately reduced to the ranks of “the hot girl’s friend”, or as I like to call it the “fat ugly friend”. Look I’m not being negative; I’m just stating the facts. Ask her sister, she’ll tell you why we didn’t want to hang out with M&M when we were younger. (I told you deep seated stuff). But it’s not M&M’s fault. She’s just standing there and they flock to her. And I hold no resentments in this department, because really, she’s a freakin’ riot to be out with, and it’s not her fault guys think she’s hot, good on her!

So, now that you’ve got the background, let me present you with some examples of her powers, and the curse that befalls the rest of us in her entourage.

Scene 1: The four of us are just getting ready to begin a game of billiards, when along come two random already drunk 22 year olds, one of them right up to M&M: “Where can we get a table?”
M&M: You need to go over to the counter, but there’s a 45 minute wait for tables”
GUY: grumbles something or other
M&M: You guys can play with us if you want (looks over to us for approval, we all nod the equivalent of “whatever”).
GUY: SCORE (well, I’m sure that’s what he was thinking anyway).
His friend didn’t really say much. So, we proceed to play a game with these guys. All’s fine and dandy, until GUY, who’s been chatting M&M up, walks over to me and says “You’re friend is beautiful”.
Me: Yep, she is.
GUY: But she has a boyfriend.
Me: Yep, she does.
GUY: (putting his arm around my shoulders) So, you wanna go on a date?

SERIOUSLY! Because my goal in life has always been to be sloppy seconds. Seriously. Someone asked me why I didn’t throw my drink in his face, but ladies, my cosmopolitan was way too delicious to waste in that manner. I actually thought it was hilarious and laughed it off, but SERIOUSLY? Who says that? You can think it, but don’t say it. God Almighty, this is why I don’t date. Once that game was over, they moved on, and we moved on, my ego slightly bruised, but mostly intact.

Scene 2: As we’re shooting pool, we are checking out the crowd around us. At one point, M&M leans over to me and points to two guys playing at a table diagonally from ours. “Gay?” she asks. “hmmm…that one for sure, the other one…probably” I say.
Cut to later as we’re getting ready to leave our table when bachelor number 1 (the for sure one) walks over to M&M. “My friend and I want to play doubles, you girls want to play?” Us: (yay, we get to play with the gay guys, how fun) Sure. Introductions all around, Bachelor Number 1 is “Creepy Brazilian Guy”, we’ll call him “Creepy” for short, Bachelor Number 2 is more laid back Brazilian Guy, we’ll call him “Arms” because oooh, the arms on that boy. Upon closer inspection, we realize that Creepy is in fact NOT gay, what we mistook for a femininity of sorts, actually turned out to be a uh…flamboyance of another kind. My apologies to the gay community for thinking he was a member, seriously, we couldn’t have been more wrong, no self respecting gay man would have acted the way he did in public. No self respecting straight man would have either, but Creepy was…well…creepy. Creepy decided he would partner up with M&M for the game, and offered one of the other three of us up to his friend Arms. I wound up with the privilege of having Arms as my doubles partner. Seriously, ladies, the arms on this man…sexy. He was a good looking guy, sort of quiet, and quite the opposite of his friend. Creepy was all over M&M “teaching” her how to hold the pool stick and…ugh, the creepiness of it all still sends shivers down my spine. At one point I said to Arms “You’re friend thinks he’s quite the man, huh?”, to which he replied “I haven’t really known him that long”. Yep, I think even he was a bit creeped out. Creepy would do this little dance with the pool stick, every time he’d take a shot…I’m pretty sure he fancied himself a Justin Timberlake of sorts. We saw him more as a Michael Jackson meets Borat type. I actually believe I got the better end of the bargain this time around, since M&M needed a serious shower to wipe off all memories of Creepy’s arms around her, and Arms was actually a pretty decent guy. Still, the idea of getting to know Arms better was overruled by the thought that Creepy would probably ask to join in. YIKES…

Scene 3: After we managed to extract ourselves from the clutches of Creepy, we left the bar and headed toward our car. While walking toward the parking lot a quite inebriated fellow stops M&M “Wait, wait, did you see that?” he says.
M&M: See what?
Fellow: That sparkle back there, did you see it?
ME: OH, I see the line, I see it coming…go ahead, let him deliver it.
M&M: Line? OH, yes, tell me, what sparkle?
Fellow: (Oblivious to my obvious teasing him) The sparkle in your eyes.
Yep…she even gets the lines you only read about guys actually using.

And this was all in one night. I’ll give you one more scene from this past Sunday, at a local feast for our church (the one I haven’t set foot in in QUITE a while now) we (same four girls again) spent the evening walking around and chatting with people we knew. M&M managed to get us a free round of drinks from a guy she went to high school years ago, despite his wedding ring, and we were having fun just scoping out the scene. This was definitely not a “going out to meet a guy” evening for me (not that I plan on doing that ever when I go out), but it was really just a “night out of the house, maybe running into some people I know form my past” kind of evening. Even so, I looked pretty damn good that evening, if I do say so myself. I was also told this by several people, so I was feeling pretty good. The self-esteem has been at an all time low this past year, but with the recent summer of working out and getting back in shape, it’s heading back in the right direction. Sunday was a good self-esteem evening for me. But I digress.

Anyway, most of the night was spent with Red and I laughing about M&M’s uncanny ability to get all the attention in the crowd. There was the aforementioned free round of drinks, the Brazilian guy (not creepy this one) who asked her to dance, and then only asked me to dance because SHE told him I was a better dancer than she. Thanks M, I appreciate the effort, misguided as it may have been.

But, just in case you really need proof that guys will do just about anything to impress M&M, here’s the kicker. She smokes, and at one point, she digs her cigs out of her purse, but can’t find her lighter. So, innocently enough, she turns to a group of about 5 guys standing next to us and asks if anyone has a light. They all nod and/or say no. For most of us, that would have been the end of it, correct? Right…some of us might have even gotten a “smoking is bad for you” comment or a “that stuff is nasty” look from the non-smoking guys. Right? Yeah. But M&M? WELL, let’s just say that Red and I were in hysterics as we witnessed two of the guys break off from the group in search of a lighter for the hot girl. And sure enough, a few seconds later, one of the guys approaches with lighter in hand, and does that thing you see in the old movies, where he reaches up to light her cig for her all macho and cool.

Yep, she just has it like that. And the best part is? She doesn’t even realize it. I miss those days, because once upon a time, I had it like that too. Ah, the good old days. Just remind me that one of these nights, if I do decide that I’m going out to actually try to meet a man, I must leave “the hot friend” at home.