So Many Questions...

Driving past a funeral home today, i saw they have this fancy electronic LED sign with a scrolling message.

So many questions from that observation alone...what? A funeral home? Why? Really? Huh?

But wait there's more.

What caught my attention was not the sign, not even the message on the sign...which again, was mind boggling on its own:

"Flexable people don't get bent out of shape"

What? On a funeral home's sign? Really? But why?

But what caught my eye, as i'm sure it's already caught yours as well, was the flagrant, big as day, in bright shining LED billboard letters, spelling mistake.

Flexable.

Not flexible.

Indeed...

Seriously? When a shirt isn't just a shirt.

I don't watch commercials on television very often anymore, not since I got my Tivo box years ago. But now and again, I will. Usually, when I am in the middle of doing something else, often times in another room, so I mostly "hear" the commercial a handful of times before I actually see it.

I've "heard" the following commercial quite a few times in the last couple of weeks, and every time, I thought "well, that just doesn't sound right to me".

Today, for the first time, I actually saw the ad. What ad? This ad:

Nope, that just doesn't seem quite right, does it? What message is being put out there? That it's okay for a mom to "borrow" her daughter's shirt without telling her, lie to her when she asks you about it, go behind her back to continue hiding the fact that you wore it, and then act like it's HER FAULT she couldn't find the shirt in the first place?

I'm not a mom, but somehow, I don't think this is the lesson I want to teach MY KIDS whenever/if ever I do have them.

Not to mention the mom's "you know that's not my style" comment. Meaning what? That mom has this whole other personality, out with her friends, partying, drinking, in leather pants, that she hides from her daughter (and perhaps the rest of her family) as she sits at home in a grandma sweater with no make-up on?

Saying that what? A woman can't be both a good mom, and have fun with her friends, wear makeup and look good?

I don't know...I suppose whoever came up with this concept was going for some sort of sitcom humor, but...sitcom humor doesn't work in 30 second spots, and it sure as hell doesn't seem like the sort of thing that would inspire me to buy a product...

Not Always Bliss

Warning, I am about to step on my soap box...

The other morning, as I was perusing the FaceBook Statuses of my "friends" I came across this status:

shame on you America: the only country where they have homeless without shelter, children going to bed without eating, elderly going without needed meds, and mentally ill without treatment - yet they have a benefit for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations,and I have to get asked to donate $ every where I go but yet we...can't keep our own country right!! 99% of people won't have balls to copy and report this!

I can't even begin to tell you how much this particular post annoyed, angered and offended me.

I'm not close enough with this particular "friend" to engage in an all out "you are ignorant because" discussion on facebook, so I let it pass. And yet, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Later that day I went back to visit this particular individual's page, so i could copy his status message for this post, and I happened to read some of the comments to his post. I was even more astounded and angered by the ignorance, and outright ugliness of some of his commenters.

It is amazing to me that in light of such a tragedy, with over 100,000 people having lost their lives, people can be so callous, so insensitive, so selfish.

Let me make something clear, I am WELL aware of how messed up our country is. I realize we are in the middle of an economic crisis the likes of which this country has not seen in an extremely long time (if ever). I realize there are thousands upon thousands of Americans without jobs, without health care, and even, yes, without homes.

I realize that something has to be done.

Don't think that when I heard that the Hope For Haiti Telethon raised over $60 million dollars, I thought "wow, imagine if we could pool our resources to raise that kind of money for this country, for our economy". Because, really, how amazing would that be?

But never, not for a minute, did I think that it was WRONG for us to be raising money for another nation. For a nation so much more in need. So much more in pain.

Let's be honest, yes, there is poverty in this country, and I know there are areas in this country where the poverty is far beyond anything I can begin to imagine in my "world". That being said, even in the worst areas, we have an infrastructure, we have programs, we have aid. I realize people slip through the cracks, I realize that much more needs to be done, but we have HOPE.

WE DO help our own country. I don't know about you, and I certainly don't know about the individuals posting on that particular facebook status, but I donate to charity, to American charities, whenever I can. I give goods, food, clothing, jackets, and money, whenever the need arises, whenever I get an urge to do something for someone else.

And there are so many wonderful organizations and programs you can join to help out. So many charities out there, reaching out to those less fortunate in this country.

Even in our toughest economic times, we are a rich nation, rich in generosity, rich in resources, rich in opportunity.

Haiti, on the other hand, is not. Even in their best times, outside such a tragedy, they are a nation with less. Less infrastructure, less opportunities, less hope.

So, we step up. WE, the INDIVIDUALS, reach into our purses, our pockets, and we give. Of our OWN MONEY. Of our OWN FREE WILL. We give.

And what could possibly be so wrong in that?

This particular individual who posted that status message calls himself a Christian. As a Christian myself, I find that laughable. As Christians, how can we speak against anyone willing to help fellow humans? Regardless of what nation they live in?

There is a difference between wanting to help your own nation, and criticizing it for helping others in the midst of unspeakable tragedy.

I wonder myself how much this individual, and those who commented with such ignorance to his post, have donated to ANY charity in the last month? Year? Lifetime? I wonder how much they have done besides bitch about the state of our economy?

I wonder, but I won't lose any sleep over it...Because I know the rest of us are doing enough to cover the rest of them.

Ignorance...not always bliss, is it?

Seriously, I need to know

So, here's the thing. When I said in this post, that I didn't really care whether or not Blue actually called me, after the random pick-up at the mall, I was being honest.

I really don't care either way. No, honestly, I don't. I'm way too busy right now anyway, and well, the thought of having to go on an actual date just yet scares the hell out of me, so, I'm good with some random pick-ups and no follow through for right now. Less stress for me, if you ask me.

Oh, right, and just in case you hadn't caught on yet, Blue never called. Even with the "three day rule" men seem to love to live by, he's let that window open and close. Truth be told, I sort of forgot all about him until my friend texted me this morning with a "any calls yet?"

Hmm...nope, not a one.

But again, I'm okay with this. As Pamela so eloquently put it in her comment to my last post, "biting fingernails worrying about Karina flirting with the next Ted Bundy... shiver shiver shiver." He could have turned out to be a real weirdo, so no huge loss for me here. Also, as Frigga said, "I love getting the random ask-out". Seriously? Good for the ego.

That being said, however, I need to know. I need to know why it is that men will do something like put themselves out there, risk the embarrassment of potential rejection, to ask for your telephone number, and then not call. Seriously??

I mean, this is not anything new, and this is probably exactly why right after giving him my number I said "I don't even care if he never calls". Because I sort of already knew odds were he would not. Because, men? They do this. And we women? We expect this. It's just part of the age old dating phenomenon, isn't it?

But still, I just don't get it. Is it really just the thrill of the conquest? And if so, wouldn't it be an even bigger thrill to follow through? No? Perhaps not.

Hey, whatever the case, I'll take the boost to my ego knowing that I am again among the troves of women out there giving out their phone numbers and never getting that phone call.

I'm already doing better than I was doing this time last year.

But really, seriously...why bother guys?

Seriously? - To censor or not to censor

That, is the question I pose to you today, my friends.

Wordless Wednesday is below this post, by the way.

But, moving on...When I listen to my car radio, I flip radio stations around a lot, so I never even know what station I'm listening to, until something catches my attention. Well, driving in this morning one of my currently favorite songs came on the radio. "Rockstar" by Nickelback. If you are unfamiliar with the song, here's the "uncensored" version of the video here:




So, here's the thing. Listening to it on the radio this morning, the word "drugs" or "drug" were edited out of the song. So was the word "asshole" but okay, I get that one. But I'm curious about the choice to edit the word drugs/drug out, when the context of the song first of all makes it obvious what it is that they're talking about, and second, isn't so much glorifying the drugs as it is making fun of the whole "Rockstar" image. Or maybe I'm wrong in my perception of the song. I know the first time I hear it, I loved it for it's implied irony, but I can see how it could be taken literally as well. Still, when did the word "drugs" become an obscene word that needed to be "bleeped" out, in a song that contains lyrics such as "we'll all stay skinny cuz we just won't eat" and "join the mile high club at thirty seven thousand feet". Never mind that the words "gonna pop my pills from a pez dispenser" were left intact. Where do we draw the line? This from the same radio station that plays "U + Ur Hand" by Pink. I'm just saying.

It's not that I'm advocating drug use, or songs that promote it (although, I'm still not sure that's what this song is doing), but I'm just curious why the choice was made to censor those particular words in this particular song. I've actually heard this song censored on other radio stations as well, one of which also plays songs such as Pink's or other even more explicit lyrics. But when the lyrics are sexual in nature, for some reason, the censorship doesn't seem as important. In fact, I've heard conversations by the D.J.s on both these radio stations that are a whole lot more offensive than the lyrics to the Nickelback song. So, why this choice to censor?

I'm just curious to hear from others if you've noticed the same thing with this, or any other songs on your local radio stations? I'm pretty sure MTV also censors the video, but since I can't remember the last time I actually saw a music video on MTV, don't quote me on that. But the images? Such as the one of the girl in the bathtub? NOT censored.

So, take a look at the lyrics below, in red are the words omitted from the censored version, and then, let me know what you think. I will be back to check comments throughout the day, because I want in on this discussion, so come back and see what people have to say if you're curious:

"Rockstar"
I'm through with standing in line
To clubs we'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
And I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be
(Tell me what you want)
I want a brand new house
On an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
For ten plus me
(So what you need?)
I'll need a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet
(Been there, done that)
I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher andJames Dean is fine for me
(So how you gonna do it?)
I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name
[Chorus:]
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free
(I'll have the quesadilla, on the house)
I'm gonna dress my ass
With the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
Blow my money for me
(So how you gonna do it?)
I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name
[Chorus]
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
I'm gonna sing those songs
That offend the censors (Karina's Note - Ironic?)
Gonna pop my pills from a pez dispenser
I'll get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip sync em every night so I don't get 'em wrong
[Chorus]
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

Discuss.

Seriously?? - It's a Dog's Life, Indeed

On the Yahoo Home Page today: Leona Helmsley's Dog gets $12 Million in her Will.

Seriously??

And it appears that two of her grandchildren get NOTHING. How great do they feel knowing they were outsmarted by a Maltese named Trouble?

The rest of her grandchildren, will get $5 million each. Not that this is a drop in the bucket, but...Trouble still out-inhereted them too.

Even her chauffer got a bit of the pie...but really, all he got was a $100,000 slice.

Trouble still wins!

Leona Helmsley was famous for saying "Only little people pay taxes"...I wonder if dogs do?

For Wordless Wednesday please scroll down. I also just answered some interview questions posed by my friend Frigga in this post. And don't forget to comment and let me know if you'd like me to interview you!!!

Seriously? Because it's just not the same, without the cocaine.

Headline on Yahoo News this morning: Keith Richards Admits that he DID snort Dad's Ashes.

BUT, he has come out to say, he did NOT mix them with cocaine as originally reported.

Of course not. And that, my friends, makes it all okay. After all, he didn't do the drugs, he just snorted his dad's ashes.

Wait, let me repeat that one more time, just so we're clear...HE SNORTED HIS FATHER'S ASHES.

Seriously? Seriously.

You can read the rest of the article here.

Scroll down for much lighter fare, also known as my obsession with Corey Haim.

Hello Officer - SERIOUSLY?

This is going to go under my "favorite news items" folder:

Bad Thai cops to endure Kitty shame.

BANGKOK, Thailand - Thai police officers who break rules will be forced to wear hot pink armbands featuring "Hello Kitty," the Japanese icon of cute, as a mark of shame, a senior officer said Monday.

Police officers caught littering, parking in a prohibited area, or arriving late — among other misdemeanors — will be forced to stay in the division office and wear the armband all day, said Police Col. Pongpat Chayaphan. The officers won't wear the armband in public.
The striking armband features Hello Kitty sitting atop two hearts.
"Simple warnings no longer work. This new twist is expected to make them feel guilt and shame and prevent them from repeating the offense, no matter how minor," said Pongpat, acting chief of the Crime Suppression Division in Bangkok.
"(Hello) Kitty is a cute icon for young girls. It's not something macho police officers want covering their biceps," Pongpat said.
He said police caught breaking the law will be subject the same fines and penalties as any other members of the public.
"We want to make sure that we do not condone small offenses," Pongpat said, adding that the CSD believed that getting tough on petty misdemeanors would lead to fewer cases of more serious offenses including abuse of power and mistreatment of the public by police officers.
Hello Kitty, invented by Sanrio Co. in 1974, has been popular for years with children and young women. The celebrity cat adorns everything from diamond-studded jewelry, Fender guitars and digital cameras to lunch boxes, T-shirts and stationery.

I love it! I mean, seriously, talk about creative management! Seriously...think about any cop you've met over the years that has been arrogant, or on a power related ego-trip. Now think about them going into work and being reprimanded by their boss and being made to wear a Hello Kitty armband all day. SERIOUSLY, can it get any better than that?

SERIOUSLY? - Lets talk about men...

Um...actually...we're going to be calling them BOYS until they prove themselves otherwise.



For those who don't know yet (and really, how could you not, I shout it from the rooftops most days), I'm single and damn comfortable and happy with my "singledom". However, as I've stated in here recently, after being single for the better part of four years (hmmm, quite possibly longer), I've decided to enter the dating world once again. I've figured what the heck, let's give this love thing a chance one more time. Besides, my life isn't nearly busy and crazy enough, I need to add some more drama and turbulance to it, so why not add men back into it...um, I mean boys...



So, it is with this mind set, and my newly slimmed down (and still slimming) and toned up (and still toning) body, and an attitude ready for adventure that I've begun smiling at complete strangers. And it is also with this new perspective that I decided to make a semi-move on someome that had been lingering in the background for several months now.



This is the particular boy I want to talk to you all about today. We'll call him LawBoy. I have known LawBoy for almost 8 years now, he was a lawyer at a lawfirm where I was a paralegal in one of my past jobs, before coming to this job. When I started that job I had a boyfriend, and I can't remember if LawBoy had a girlfriend or not, but we became friends. He's a good guy, funny, smart and was a good person to bounce stuff (such as "Do you think this jerk is cheating on me?") off of. Because we worked together, there was never any intention on my part of "hooking up", it would have been weird, I sort of worked "for him" on certain cases, and I'm SO not into that whole "dating the boss" thing. He wasn't my boss, but he was my superior of sorts. Anyway, I'm getting off track here. Point is, we never dated, and never really showed an interest in doing so. We were friendly, in and outside of work, we hung out, but never in a romantic way. When I left that job, we stayed in touch, and have kept in touch off and on for the last 4 years. He had a pretty serious girlfriend when I left that job, and to be honest, I've never asked whether or not they've broken up. However, conversations have led me to believe that he is now single again. For the record, he has not asked my relationship status of late either.



So, now you have the background. Let's move to the present situation.



Within the last year or so, he started randomly text messaging me. Random notes, such as "what's up" or "what are you up to tonight?" or "How are things"...just random. At this point, we'd sort of lost touch a bit, weren't emailing at all, and hadn't had a telephone conversation in at least a full year. I thought the messages to be random, but hey, we've always been cool, so I didn't think much of it. I would text back with the same sort of messages. The random part of it would be that I'd get a message on a Saturday night, for example, that would say "What's up?" and I'd reply "not much, heading out, you?" and he'd reply "yeah, heading out too"...and then I'd not hear from him for another month or two. Random, right?



As I was not in the mindset to deal with men...uh, boys...I never really gave it much thought. Then, a few weeks ago, I sent him a random text message. Truth be told, I was bored silly one afternoon, and sent random text messages to just about everyone I know...he just happened to be one of them. I'm pretty sure my message was something along the lines of "What's up, stranger?". It was his reply which started off the whole next part of this story: "Not much, I would like to see you".



Now, I know I've been out of the dating scene for a while, and I also know that we are just friends, and friends can want to see each other...but hey, I sort of giggled a bit when I read that. Hmm...could there be a spark there, a bit of an interest? Mind you my friends had been telling me for months (every time I'd get a text message from him) that he was into me, so the fuel for my suspicion was there. Well, I decided to roll with it. Some messages back and forth and I suggested we do drinks some night. He agreed that it sounded fun...and then proceeded to fall off the face of the earth for another week or so.



A few more text messages later, and I decided that texting is a pain in the arse, and asked for his new e-mail address...figuring conversation and plans would go much smoother that way.



So, I send an e-mail, he reads it (I love read receipts) and proceeds to take 3 days to respond. And when he does respond, it is with a short few words, which really, he could have just texted me. By now, I'm getting annoyed, and being fully reminded why I don't date. But, I'm resillient, and still, this is a friend who I wouldn't mind catching up with, so I try ONE MORE TIME, and send another e-mail, this one more detailed, asking what he's been up to, how life is, how's work, etc. and tell him a bit about my summer, what's going on, etc. He reads it.



2 weeks later, no response yet. And I decide that whatever it was that made me giggle, is SO gone. I hate mind games.



And then I get a text message from him on Sunday "How're you doing? You out and about?"



SERIOUSLY?



For the record, I don't even really care anyway, I've lost interest...I'm too old and too happy being single to have to be the one doing the chasing. And no, I haven't replied to his text yet, I'm not really sure what the hell I'm supposed to say now. I'm really just curious on how it is that others will interpret this situation...call it a study in human behavior...which is what I'm pretty sure my venture into dating this go-round is going to completely turn into.



So...discuss...what's his deal ladies? (and gents, your input is certainly welcome as well)

Seriously? - Are Princesses Good Role Models?

Seriously? I’m starting a new “segment” if you will. It’s going to be called…you guessed it “Seriously?” and whenever I come across things in the media that just boggle my mind, but yet that I must react to, this is where’ll it’ll happen.

So, back to today’s topic. “Are Princesses Good Role Models?” is a headline on Yahoo’s homepage today. There is an ABC news video link to that story, and there is the story at the ABC News Website. Take a moment if you will to either watch the video, or read the story, (the narration is the same as the article) then come back.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Health/story?id=3065469&page=1

Got it? Okay good…so…SERIOUSLY?? Is this what we’ve become? Afraid to let our children play? SERIOUSLY? This Peggy Orenstein chick obviously had a very unhappy childhood, and has some real hang-ups about being a female. She says “She wants children to live in reality, not fantasy.” SERIOUSLY??

For God’s sake…WHY? Why the hell would we want children to live in reality? Childhood should be all about fantasy, and imagination and playing and not knowing the reality of how much the real world SUCKS. Let them be children. They will deal with reality all too soon anyway, why take away those few years where it actually is all about beauty and fantasy? Is that so bad?

Ms. Orenstein worries about their body image? SERIOUSLY? Because I’d be a hell of a lot more concerned about the fact that she’s focusing on a 3 year old’s body image, then the fact that Snow White and Cinderella are pretty CARTOON girls.

Look, I’m not saying I don’t realize that body image is a huge issue for women and girls in this country (in the world), but taking away a childhood fantasy of being a princess isn’t going to fix the problem. She says: “I really worry about what it's setting girls up for. Will the girl who is wearing 'Princess' across her chest when she's three be wearing 'Spoiled' across her chest when she's six, and 'Porn Star' when she is 12?"

SERIOUSLY?? I mean…SERIOUSLY?? And a 12 year old wearing a “Porn Star” t-shirt (WHAT?) is due to watching Princess movies when she was 3 years old? SERIOUSLY? It has nothing to do with parenting, or the values she is taught? And the fact that my mother would have kicked my ass if I ever even looked at a t-shirt that said “Porn Star” on it?

SERIOUSLY?

Let’s stop blaming the media, the music, the freakin’ cartoons already huh? It’s due time that parents take responsibility for raising their kids and that women take responsibility for loving and accepting themselves. We all know that magazines models and celebrities are airbrushed beyond recognition, we know they starve themselves for the sake of their business, we know that it’s not reality. WE have a responsibility to make sure the younger generations know that as well, and that they begin to make the changes we have as yet been unable to make. But for God’s sake…leave the cartoons alone, and let children have their fantasies for a while huh?

SERIOUSLY!

Prom Dressing - 2006

So, I don't have a picture of me in my prom dress to show you. And, even if I did, I still wouldn't show you, because...well...it was the early 90's. Need I say more?
Anyway, you can imagine pretty much what it looked like if you attended any prom in that time period. All dresses were poofy, ruffly, scrunchy, sleevy (as in poofy sleeves), and sparkly or a combination of two or more. They were also...well...DRESSES. One did not wear a bikini, or some variation of the theme to their prom. I thought I was being riske because I wore a short dress (knee length) with off the shoulder sleeves.
Nowadays however, I would have been looked at as matronly or something. After all, the picture above depitcs just SOME of the prom dresses I came across when reading this article:
http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/1331/whats-hot-for-prom?fr=fp-buzz-morebuzz
THESE, my friends are the promdresses of 2006.
Let's not forget that the girls wearing these dresses are all between the ages of 16 and 19 at the MOST.
Wow...times have changed, haven't they?

Snow Shoes??

I live in New England. It is cold here from about September 20th to about the end of May. Maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but really, if you’re a New Englander, you know I’m not stretching it all that much. Summer lasts about 3 weeks or so, falling somewhere between July and August. The rest of the year is mild at best.

This winter, we’ve had what they’re calling an “unseasonably warm” winter. The temps have stayed in the mid to upper 40s and 50s, the sun has been out, we are all very pleased, well, except maybe the skiers. Winter appears, however, to be on it’s way back in, and as New Englanders, we will grumble, and complain, but we’ll grab our shovels, our hats and mittens, and deal with it. We live here, therefore, we deal.

The weather, per se, is not my issue today. Today, my issue is with the retail industry, so if you will indulge me:

An open letter to retail America:

Dear Retailers:

In case nobody alerted you, the groundhog saw his shadow. This means that we are expecting six more weeks of winter. For us New Englanders, that means about 12 more weeks of unreasonably cold weather, and the occasional Nor’Easter. While I understand your excitement at the colorful new bathing suits you’ve created, do I need to see them now? When just the mere thought of going outside in a bikini sends shivers into my brain, walking into Target and seeing rows upon rows of multi-colored itty bitty swimsuits is NOT a pleasant experience.

Now, let’s talk shoes for a minute, shall we? Shoes, as I’m sure you are aware, are an essential part of any self-respecting woman’s wardrobe. We love our shoes. We take our shoes very seriously. So, it goes without saying that a woman in New England will not only have a vast collection of winter shoes (ie boots), but won’t be caught dead in open toe shoes until AT LEAST May, for fear of losing her poor little toes to frostbite.

That said, why is it that in the first weeks of February it is nearly impossible to find any footwear in any retail establishment that would cover afore mentioned toes? Boots? HA! Nary a one. Are we then to presume that if we have an unfortunate accident mid-winter, for example, a heel breaking off the staple "every woman has them" knee high black boots, we then will have to refrain from wearing black until it is safe to show our toes?

I’m not asking for much, I would just like to buy shoes and clothes during the actual season when I can actually wear them. And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, now that you’ve released the swimsuits into the wild, can we keep them around until those of us who live in layers for warmth have had a chance to shed the “winter weight”? Say…May?

Many thanks.

Reason number 362 why friends don't let friends set them up...

Wow, two entries in one day? Well, immediately after I entered the other entry, this happened:
I'm rethinking the whole "ready to date" thing, and it didn't even take a full week...how about that?

If not the "ready to date" thing, I am MOST DEFINITELY re-thinking the "letting my friends set me up" thing.

Scenario: K (that's me) is sitting at work, minding her own business, when suddenly Europe's "The Final Countdown" begins playing from her jacket pocket. It appears that K has left her cell phone on from her earlier jaunt out of the office (which in and of itself was a whole other source of aggravation, since K was called while out of the office running office errands because a client was on the other line and had a question...uh? Voice mail anyone???? take a freakin' message??) okay, anyway, back to the story at hand. SO, cell phone rings (and no, I didn't download "the Final Countdown" as a ring tone, my brother did, I inherited his phone, I like the song)...K answers phone. It is Cat, the friend who called this weekend asking if I'd be interested in meeting T.

Cat: Hi
K: Hi girl, how are you?
Cat: Oh, not good, we got some bad news about the dog, he might have cancer.
K: Oh no, I'm so sorry (genuinely concerned, cat and husband just got dog, really love him, recently lost other dog due to old age)
Cat: Yeah, but I don't want to talk about that
K: Okay (then why did you start the conversation with that? Well, okay, whatever, I asked how you were, I got an answer, moving on), so what's up?
Cat: Well, we wanted to know if you're going to be around either Friday or Saturday night, T wanted to see if we could set something up for him to meet you this weekend.
K: Oh, I can't, I'm going away this weekend, I won't be back until Sunday (okay, late saturday night, but still, same thing).
Cat: Oh, okay, I'll let Husband know. Maybe next weekend then?
K: Sure, I'm supposed to have dinner with some girlfriends either Friday or Saturday but it's not set yet, so either night, I can work one or the other around.
Cat: Okay, I'll call Husband and we'll talk later in the week then.

Goodbyes are said, phone's hung up. TWO minutes pass.

"It's the final countdown...."

K: Hello?
Cat: Hi, so, T REALLY REALLY wants to meet you, so even if it's some night during the week, he wants to know if you want to go out, so he can meet you.
K: What the hell did you tell this guy about me that he wants to meet me so badly?
Cat: Nothing much, just the basic stuff, I told him that you're independent, have your own place, don't really date at all, and he's just really interested.
K: (not so sure I'm okay with the "don't really date at all equals he's really interested part, what the hell does that mean?) Okay...well, I don't know about during the week, I'm usually in a get out of work go home and relax kind of mode during the week (not to mention that I plan on starting the gym next week but don't get into that here), but I will be around next weekend for sure.
Cat: Okay, it's just that ever since we told him about you he keeps asking Husband about you, and he really wants to meet you (WTF?? He knows me form a hole in the wall). And...

AND HERE LADIES is where K gets PISSED OFF

and Husband was like "what doesn't she want to meet him anymore?"
K: Cat, it's THURSDAY, you called to ask if I was available for Friday or Saturday, I'm going away...I said I was available next weekend. Doesn't mean I don't want to meet him, it means I have plans TOMORROW and the DAY AFTER...
Cat: yeah, okay, well, I'll tell Husband
K: Okay, yeah, cool.

Goodbye's are said, phone's are hung up.

WTF?? Tell me something, do all couples automatically assume that just because a person is single, then she has nothing better to do than sit around on Friday and Saturday nights waiting for someone to want to go out with them? So, because I happen to have plans THE VERY NEXT DAY, I'm automatically not interested in meeting your friend? AND WTF did you tell him about me that is making him want to meet me so badly? Either this guy is desparate to meet ANYONE, (I'm getting stalkerish vibes here), or you guys think that by making him sound SOOO interested I'll be jumping up and down for joy. Truthfully, I'm a little freaked out. How long have you known me? YEARS, right? You'd think by now you'd know that I'm not turned on by the "Nice to meet you let's get married" types.

Is it that because I made the mistake of telling you that yes, I might be interested in dating again, you assumed this means that I must be married within the year?

THIS is why I don't like set-ups. Now you will be hounding me to go out with him, to like him, to marry the freakin' guy. I don't even know his age!

DID I NOT say "casual get-together". When did this turn into a "shotgun date". Do or die. GO out with him TOMORROW or you're not really interested? Is this coming from the two of you, or is this coming from him? Either way, I'm quickly debating whether to tell you to just forget the whole thing. This was supposed to be fun, now it's feeling like a chore. YOU'VE KILLED IT.

Sigh...

Dating for the Right Reasons...or not dating at all

So, here I am, single at 30 in 2006. Frightening. It is not the fact that I’m single that is frightening, it is the thought of dating that is. I’ve been single for several years now, so long, in fact, that I honestly can’t remember exactly how long. Three, four years at least. In that time I have gone on approximately 5 dates. I kid you not. But don’t start feeling sorry for me this is mostly by choice. In the beginning, after my last relationship fell apart, I took a self-imposed dating hiatus. I just needed a break from all the stress that comes with dating. I needed to concentrate on me for a while. Since then, I have had moments when I’ve considered getting back into the dating scene, hence the 5 dates or so. But all it took was one not so good (or horribly bad) date, for me to realize that perhaps, I wasn’t quite ready to get out there yet.

My last date, if you could call it that, as it consisted simply of going for a walk to meet for the first time in person (oh the wonders of on-line dating), was nice enough. And to be honest, at that time, I was thinking I might actually be ready to get back out there. Then after informing him he wasn’t going to get very far with me physically very quickly, I never heard from the guy again. Yeah, I know, what a loss, right? But again, at this point I stepped back and thought “not so ready for this crap after all”. This was last summer, I haven’t even thought about dating since then.

Until now. It’s a new year, I’m all about getting out there, doing things, enjoying life, having a life. So, I’ve been considering the possibility that I might, maybe, just possibly, be ready to try this dating thing again.

Then yesterday I ran across this article titled “Dating for the Right Reasons” by Laura J. Schaefer. I believe you can link to it here:
http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=3052&menuid=7&lid=430

She says: But as you decide whether you’re ready to date, make sure you are doing it for the right reason: You have a full life that you’d like to share with another person.

Okay, that makes perfect sense to me. I do indeed have a full life, but do I want to share it with another person? That, is the question. So I read on, and she goes on to list “bad reasons to date”.

Pay attention folks, especially those of you who are constantly telling me that “maybe I’ll meet someone” every time I go somewhere.

Reason No. 1: Your friends want you paired off.

OH, you know very well who you are! You want me to have a boyfriend, so that we can do “couple things”. You think that because you’re so happy in your relationship, I can only possibly be happy if I’m in one as well. THIS is not true. And besides, when you call me bitching and moaning about your significant other, I’m thanking my lucky stars that I’m single.

Reason No. 2: You can’t stand to be alone.

Well, I can pretty much skip this one, because besides going to the movies, I freakin’ love to be alone. This might actually a problem, I might like being alone a bit too much.

Reason No. 3: Well, he/she asked…

This is not an issue for me on several levels. Number one, I have no problem telling someone no, if I’m not interested. Let’s be honest, if it’s not there, it’s not there, and I’m not going to go on an “obligation” date. Number two…nobody ever asks. I REALLY need to get out more, because I don’t ever really meet any men, so I’m not really giving anyone the opportunity to ask, nobody knows I exist, curled up on my couch with my tivo.

Reason No. 4: You’re “that age.”

AH yes…the “time is slipping away” and I’m going to be an old maid thing. Yeah…there is an inkling of that. Basically, I’m perfectly comfortable being single right now, but I’m not so sure I’ll feel the same way in 10 years, and won’t it be THAT much harder to meet someone then? So, the “I’m not getting any younger” concern does play a small role, but really, not big enough to have me searching match.com just yet.

Reason No. 5: You want someone to fix your life.

I’m not even really sure I understand this one, and if she’s saying what I think she is, this one just pisses me off. “fix” your life? WHAT? How exactly? I’m going to just skip it.

Reason No. 6: You want to further your career.

Laughable…do women really do this anymore? I think she ran out of reasons, and wanted to have more than 5 so she just threw this in for good measure.

So, there you have it. And really, I don’t think any of these reasons apply to me, so I suppose I could start dating. Maybe I should try to find a list of the “good reasons to date”. Maybe that would help me decide.

I can’t tell you what it is that has made me so disinterested in love and romance. I think romance is great, I think love is even greater, and I do want it for myself some day. But I think I’ve spent so much time on my own, enjoying my own company, that I have a hard time letting go of the inner (and outer) peace, to get involved in the dramatics that always ensue when you date. The does he like me, will he ask me out, what should I wear, why hasn’t he called, what did he mean by “I think you’re great”, how many dates before we’re exclusive, can I trust him, does he want kids, does he want to get married, do our political, moral, ethical beliefs mesh, does he burp out loud, can I put up with that, who is that girl calling his phone, why hasn’t he introduced me to his parents, do I even want to meet his parents…drama.

I don’t know. Part of me is screaming “NO, stay away, you don’t want that”. But then, there’s also the part of me that’s thinking that hey, sometimes, those things are fun, and they get your blood pumping, and your adrenaline rushing. And what about the “he likes me, he smiled at me, what should I wear, he called when he said he would, that kiss was amazing, he thinks I’m great, he wants us to exclusive and all that excitement? Yeah, that’s fun too.

It’s an interesting quandary I find myself in. To date or not to date. I suppose I should start by leaving the house. We’ll see where that takes me.
Oh, and don’t worry, if I do venture into the crazy world of dating, I’ll be sure to keep you all posted of the good, the bad, and especially, the ugly. OH, what fun we will have.

A Public Service Announcement - or something of that sort...

Let me start by saying this: This is MY BLOG, and therefore that means that I am entitled to share my thoughts and feelings here, whether or not they may be harsh, politically incorrect, or just plain rude. I don’t consider myself to be any of the above (well maybe politically incorrect), for the most part, I think I am a very thoughtful, nice, and caring person. But there are times when ANGRY Karina needs to come out and play, this is one of those times.

A little background into why this particular topic is on my mind today. As some of you know, I work in a law firm, and yesterday we had a client come in for a consult in a matter related to an arrest for drinking and driving. I was lucky enough (sarcasm abounds) to sit in on this consult. It took every ounce of my being to sit there and look pretty (yeah, whatever) and not open my mouth about my true feelings. SOO, I decided that since I couldn’t say these things to him, I’d say them here. AND since he’s not the only idiot getting behind the wheel after having WAY too much to drink, I figured I’d address it to ALL the idiots who do so.

And a quick disclaimer: I don’t condone getting in a car after drinking pretty much at all, although we’re all guilty of having one or two drinks and then driving. For the most part, this is not a big issue with me and this is not what this post is about. My issue is with the idiots (and yes, I’ll continue to call them idiots, and this is much nicer than the other words I was using at the meeting in my mind) who just don’t know when to stop and THEN get in their cars.

That said, an open letter to the idiots who choose to drink and drive:

Dear IDIOT:

Do you really believe that there is any excuse for your behavior? Do you truly feel that you should not be held accountable for your choices? Do tell what it is that makes you above reproach? Why do you think you have been selected to be allowed to make ignorant, idiotic choices and then not feel guilty for it? YOU.ARE.GUILTY. Therefore, you should suffer the consequences. I do not feel sorry for you. There is no sympathy here for your plight. NONE, ZERO, ZILCH.

Don’t you try that WOE IS ME crap here. I should nod my head in commiseration that it is not fair that someone can rob a convenience store and only get a slap on the wrist and you, with your first offense (let’s be clear, the first time you were caught), are going to suffer SO MUCH MORE? Cry me a river!

So now you don’t know how you’ll get to work because you refused the breathalizer, because you were WAY above the legal limit and you knew it, so chose to refuse it instead of proving just how drunk you were, and now you have automatically lost your license for 6 months (this, by the way, is new Massachusetts Law, passed in October of 2005). What a pity! Nope, not feeling sorry for you one bit.

And then you have the gall to say, in a “yep, I’m guilty as hell” tone that you visited 3, maybe 4 bars that night? How much did you have to drink? “Plenty” you say. Hell, you don’t even remember what you said to the cops after you were arrested, because you were THAT drunk, and I’m supposed to feel badly for you because “it’s not like I hurt anyone”? SORRY, Not happening.

Here’s what I think. Now, pay attention. And this goes to EVERYONE who chooses to get behind the wheel of a car when they KNOW they’ve had even just ONE too many drinks (never mind 12 or 13). Listening?

I think, to put it bluntly, that you are a killer. Yeah, I know, I know, I’m out of line, right? But would you give a gun to someone who isn’t mentally stable and able to think rationally and tell them to just shoot wildly? Right, you wouldn’t, because that bullet is bound to hit a target at some point. So here’s the thing, YOU KNOW, because we all know, the effects of alcohol on your ability to walk straight, think straight, speak coherently. So therefore, you know, because we all know, that it would only make sense that it would also impair your ability to drive straight (you think?). So, here you are, not entirely in control of your body or mind and you load up your weapon and begin shooting wildly. Only this bullet is a 3000 plus pound pile of metal and glass. And you don’t think somebody’s going to get hurt? Rationally thinking you know that when you get behind the wheel of an automobile after you’ve had too much to drink, you could kill somebody. Therefore, you are a killer, you just haven’t found your victim yet. And don’t give me the “well if I’m not thinking straight, then I don’t rationally know that I could kill someone” stupidity either, because you were sober when you left the house (well, one would hope) and chose to drive your car to the first bar, second bar, third bar, and so on.

But you’re not that person? You’re a good guy, just out having a good time, you don’t really want to hurt anyone? Well, then don’t. Call a cab, stay at a friend’s house, assign a designated driver, walk, STAY HOME. There is just no good reason for you to be out on the road.

So, yes, maybe I’m unforgiving, maybe I’m just a bit too passionate about this particular subject, but it was one of you who killed my friend Leo, and took him away from this world 10 years ago now. And it’s always one of you who makes me afraid for my life when I’m driving home sober, the designated driver because I DON’T want to be a killer, and swerving into my lane. And it’s always one of you who ruins a prom night, a New Year’s Eve, a Fourth of July celebration.

No, I don’t feel sorry for you, I don’t have sympathy, I just don’t see your side of the story. I’m sick of hearing about these innocent people just minding their business standing on a sidewalk, driving home from work, and you come along and take a mother away form their children, a child away from their parents, a sister, a brother, a friend, ENOUGH.

So, stick your tail between your legs, where it belongs, because you were caught this time. Take your licking and hopefully, learn something from it. And for God’s sake, for all our sakes, hell for your sake, DON’T. DO. IT. AGAIN.

Because next time, someone might actually be in that car, and then, you just might hurt them, or worse. You don’t want to live with that, do you? Because after all, you’re not a killer, right? So, prove me wrong, don’t load that gun.

Very truly yours,

A Very Angry and Fed Up Citizen

Quietly stepping off my soapbox now.

Open Letter to Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature:

Why do you hate me so? I know I must have done something at some point to anger you this much, and yet, I’m not quite sure what it was. This love-hate relationship we have has been going on for far too long, and I think it’s time we make amends. Truly, I’m sorry if I have offended you, and please allow me to attempt to fix it.

I don’t remember exactly when it was that you turned on me, it’s been subtle, and slow progressing, so it took me a while to realize just how angry you were at me. But now that I reflect back on it, I can see all the signs. There was that time on Spring Break where my cousin and I went to Florida, and even though the weather wasn’t terrible, it was only in the low 70’s and we got quite a few rainy days as well. Yet on the day we were driving back to Massachusetts, it was 95 degrees and sunny. Then there was that one week about 7 years ago, in the middle of July that I decided to take for myself between jobs, so that I could enjoy some time in the sun, and attempt to get a tan before starting my new job. It rained every single day that week do you remember that? And then the day I returned to work, it was 90 degrees and sunny. There was the cold, somewhat rainy weather at Key West and along other parts of our cruise, I think you feeling slightly forgiving that week though, because it was a decent week weather wise, all things considered. Like I said, there have been other signs along the way, but I’ve been slow to notice them.

This month however, you really have been playing with my emotions. It snowed on Thanksgiving, which was just strange and out of place. But I was okay with that. It was also in the 60’s for much of November, which really confused all of us New Englanders, we had no idea what to wear, but that wasn’t personal, as that affected everyone, so again, I let that slip. Now the temperature has been steadily declining, and it’s bitter cold outside today. But I live in New England, so that is to be expected. What I’m feeling is personal, however, is the snow. Look, I go the whole year barely taking any days off work. I work hard, I’m dedicated, I don’t call in sick. And then year end rolls around and I have a few extra vacation days that I must take before the end of the year. So I took last Friday off, to finish my Christmas shopping. And what do you do? You dump 18 inches of snow in the span of 5 hours, and cause me to be TRAPPED in my house at the top of the hill. I got NOTHING accomplished that day. One could argue that at least I didn’t have to drive to work in that storm, but really, I didn’t take the day off to spend it in my pj’s in front of the television, I wanted to get things done.

And this week? Well, it’s been bitter cold out, but not a spot of snow. It’s been clear and even somewhat sunny. But I have tomorrow off, and what, pray tell, is the forecast? WINTRY MIX…not just snow, but snow switching to ICE. JUST to make it fun for me to try to drive down my hill without getting killed. I HAVE PLANS for tomorrow! I’m going to buy new glasses, I’m going to mail Christmas cards and Christmas packages to friends from out of town, I have things to do, places to be. You can’t do this to me again. If I am trapped in my house again tomorrow, I’m afraid our relationship may be hurt beyond repair.

So can we please stop this crazy fighting? Let me know what it is that I did that has you so angry with me, and I promise never to do it again. Let’s be friends. We can get along I know we can.

Thanks for taking the time to read this letter. You know where to reach me if you want to patch things up. You could start by diverting that storm tomorrow.

Sincerely,

Me