Wednesday, February 09, 2011

If I Had a Boyfriend - Valentine's Day Musings

I feel as if I should post a disclaimer before you start reading this post.  If you know me well, then you will know this was written in good humor.  If, upon reading this, you are worried that I am angry or sad or bitter...that just means you need to visit this blog more often, because that is so NOT who I am.  Disclaimer done. ;-)

Valentine's Day is next week.  The day of roses, and romance.  Chocolates in a box. Jewelry and heartfelt messages on a card. Red hearts and teddy bears.

The one day of the year when couples celebrate their coupledom.  When they take the time to tell one another how much they care…

Hear that?  That was the needle on the record scratching to a stop…

Let’s try that again. 

Valentine’s Day.  The day of expectations and disappointments. Over priced flowers and last minute shopping.  Unnecessary pressures to make it all special.

The one day of the year when couples probably fight more than they romance.  The woman expects to be swept off her feet, the man just wants to not end up in the dog house.

And the uncoupled?  They just want it to be done with so they can resume their previously scheduled programming.

Cynical? Perhaps. 

Obvious that I’m single?  Not so fast…

I’m not a fan of Valentine’s day, but then, I never have been.  Single or coupled. 

I sit here just now trying to stir up memories of previous Valentine’s Days…both good and bad.

Elementary school…buying Valentine’s for the whole class, and that extra special one with a cookie for that extra special boy…he never even said thank you.  But then, there was that other boy, the one I didn’t like, who gave me the extra special one with the chocolate…did I ever say thank you?

High School...Those stupid carnations delivered to home room.  Us girls sending them to one another so that none of us would be without…because nobody wanted to be the girl who didn’t get a carnation.  That one year I received one from the boy I liked so much.  That one year I received one from that other boy…only to find out he’d sent them to a whole slew of girls…

College…not expecting anything, not really caring so much about it.  And then, sitting in class, straight out of a chick flick, in walks a boy with a dozen roses, a heart shaped box of chocolates, and places them, wordlessly, on my desk. I’m pretty sure I swooned. A romance blossomed.

Still college…finding out my “will we or won’t we” crush bought a teddy bear for my arch nemesis. Breaking my heart.

My first serious relationship…spending the entire day upset and disappointed because he never even called to say "Happy Valentine's Day". Angry. Only to come home and discover he’d dropped off flowers and chocolates to surprise me.  Disappointment turning to an awkward feeling of guilt.

Every other relationship since then…the expectation, the planning, the denial of its importance, all the while wanting it to matter to them.

So Much Pressure.

And as a single girl…it’s always easier to just ignore it.  Pretend it’s just another day.  Convince yourself you don’t really care, after all, it’s a commercial holiday, meant solely for price mark-ups and exploitation of the masses.

And yet…knowing deep down that a flower delivery would absolutely make my day.

But why on this day more than any other?

Because really, if I had a boyfriend? I’d want him to send me flowers on a Wednesday in April, simply because he was thinking of me.

If I had a boyfriend, he’d know NOT to buy me chocolates, because I can’t resist a good chocolate, and I’m trying to watch what I eat.

If I had a boyfriend, I’d hope we would go out to dinner, and listen to music, and whisper sweet nothings in each other’s ears more regularly than once a year.

If I had a boyfriend, Valentine’s Day wouldn’t matter nearly as much as say…President’s Day…a day off from work to spend together watching movies, or building snowmen, or going shopping for groceries to make dinner that night.

If I had a boyfriend I wouldn’t need red hearts and teddy bears…just a heartfelt I love you and a sincere bear hug.

But I don’t have a boyfriend…so instead…I’ll ignore all the hearts, and flowers...I’ll pretend it’s just another day…and I’ll buy my own damn chocolate.


Amber said...

Hear, hear!!
All I want is a date (because we RARELY have them so I have to use our Anniv and VDay as excuses to have one.)
It may or may not happen, probably won't. And I already bought myself my VDay present - Bath & Body on sale. ;)

~michelle pendergrass said...

We typically don't do anything special for V-day. We're both of the opinion that we love each other throughout the year--we don't need to "prove" it on a day in Feb.

Amy said...

I'm married and the only time Valentine's day ever meant anything to me was when I wasn't attached... then it sucked.

Personally, I'd rather buy my own chocolate - yummy chocolate - that I don't have to squish to see if I like it, because I wouldn't buy myself chocolate I didn't like... and pink and red stuffed animals do not match my decor... and I don't really like the expensive flowers - I like carnations because they smell pretty and last a long time. Nothing is sadder than 12 rosebuds with broken (limp, hungover) necks on the morning February 15th.

What a waste of money that could've been some really nice shoes!

chasy said...

*gasp* You bought yourself chocolate?? You make a bad boyfriend for yourself. Didn't you know you're trying to watch what you eat?? ;D I loved this post!! You have a great sense of humor and laughing is my favorite thing so...See the sentence before this one. ;)

I also don't care for Valentine's Day. The first year my husband and I were married, we decided to start the tradition of buying a present, as a couple, for someone else. That first year, we bought a new vacuum for my best friend because hers had just died. I don't remember what we've done every V-day...I know one year, we took my grandmother out for dinner. Anyway, I'm not trying to toot my own horn. I'm leading up to this: I've learned to look forward to it as a "second and one-sided Christmas". This year, we didn't have the money to celebrate at all-- for ourselves or for anyone else. One friend offered to take the kids for us and my best friend gave us twenty bucks to go out. :D It was the best valentine's ever.