Thursday, March 29, 2007

15 in 30 - Still a writer

I’m halfway through this 30 in 30 project, and although I haven’t posted every day, I have written every day. I have taken a little time out of my work day, during lunch, or when I need a break from the craziness, and put my thoughts to paper (or computer to be more accurate). Anyway, here’s what I’ve realized through this project. I am a writer after all. So much time passes when I’m not able to be creative that I begin to wonder if I have the right to call myself a writer, but then I start and can’t seem to stop.

I take great pleasure in creating these entries, and short, or insignificant as they may seem, at the moment, they mean a lot to me. Even though I don’t think anyone is reading them, it still feels great to get them out. Then I can go back and re-read what I wrote and be impressed by the fact that I can still string words together into a coherent thought…most days.

I’ve been writing a long time now. In fact, I don’t remember a time when I didn’t write. From the time I learned to do so, I would create stories and then read them back to my mom with great pride. And I honestly cannot tell you when I wrote my first poem, but I do know it was early enough that it was written in colored markers or crayons, probably as part of some mother’s day card. It was definitely before we left Portugal, and written in Portuguese, way before visions of moving to America had filled my head.

Once in the United States, I learned a whole new language with which to create. How amazing to be able to express myself in a whole new way. Through Junior High and High School I wrote constantly; short stories, poems, even the random school paper article. I was going to be a writer, this was my craft, and I had to constantly work at it. And it came so naturally then. I look back now on some of the work I did at such a young age, and am amazed at the power in those words. I had a lot to say, and so many different ways to say it.

College changed that a bit. I still wrote, but now most of my writing was centered on school assignments, papers, and briefs. Creatively, I still wrote some, but mostly, I was experiencing the first bouts of writer’s block. I can vividly remember a few pieces I wrote during college, because the good ones were so few, that they stand out.

Straight out of college I began working in a law firm, but in a position where I had a lot of free time sitting at my computer, with nothing to do, and at the time, no Internet. This is when I began “the novel”. In this job, I actually completed the framework for “the novel”. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you really look at it), I got another job, one that actually required my time an attention, and “the novel” was put on the back burner, where, with the exception of a few outings here and there, it has remained to date. And truly, besides the odd poem inspired by events such as 9/11, or major life events, that novel marked the last time I was truly free to be creative. Life got hectic, and writer’s block set in. I still write, but it doesn’t come as easily, and it certainly doesn’t happen as often.

But the blog helps. And who knows, maybe one of these days I’ll dig out the novel, dust if off, and see if I can’t fill in some of the blanks.

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