Tuesday, February 09, 2010

If I Had a Boyfriend - The Relationship Dress

In case you missed, I explain the “If I Had a Boyfriend” series here.

I attended a “Gala” Fundraising event. It was a very prom like evening in that everyone was all decked out, dressed up to the nines. The party was a great time, and it was fun to have an excuse to actually wear a bridesmaid dress again.

I KNOW! I really did though, and you know what? It was perfect. The dress, a strapless, corset back, poufy skirt, black and white number was exactly the right little number to wear for this event.

This dress:

And yes, I was having a lovely time (and no, i'm not in love with this photo AT ALL but it was the only one that showed the whole dress).

But here’s the thing, this dress is what those in the know in the fashion world call a “relationship dress”.

What is a relationship dress, you ask? Let me remind you again that I said “corset back”. As in, lace up the back, in that intricate manner that requires not only looping through the various holes, but also tightening as you go along, not unlike laces on a pair of sneakers. But you know…at the back. That area you can’t reach on your own.

THIS back:

Also, if you’ve ever watched any Jane Austen movies, or Gone with the Wind, you probably remember a scene or two where the damsel is holding onto a bedpost as her maid servant laces up her corset. A task that not only requires precision, but also, to be brutally honest, force.

So yeah, a relationship dress, because in today’s society, where most of us don’t have our very own maid servants (or as they are called inHollywood today, personal stylists), you need to be in a relationship in order to get INTO the dress. It is not possible to do it on your own.

And I? I am not in a relationship.

If I had a boyfriend, my brother’s fiancé wouldn’t have had to come over early to help me get into my dress, before we headed out for the evening.

If I had a boyfriend, getting out of that same dress that night, especially after the handful of espresso martinis I enjoyed that evening, would probably have been a lot more “fun” and a lot less “funny”.

Let it be noted, however, that I did not need help undressing, and managed just fine on my own.

That being said…no more relationship dresses for me until I have either A) a boyfriend or B) a personal stylist.

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